The Woman Who Can Make Affairs Disappear
Modern Love22 Okt 2025

The Woman Who Can Make Affairs Disappear

In cities across China, there’s a special kind of consultant you can hire if you find out your spouse is cheating. They’re called “mistress dispellers,” and their job is to work their way into your spouse’s life, get close to their lover and convince the pair to break it off. When all goes according to plan, the cheaters end up believing it was their idea to end the affair.

In this episode of “Modern Love,” the filmmaker Elizabeth Lo tells Anna Martin what it was like to embed herself with a mistress dispeller over the course of three years. Lo explains some of the secrets to the mistress dispeller’s success, and why working on the project played a role in her own breakup.

Lo’s documentary “Mistress Dispeller” is in select theaters today.

Listener call out: The Modern Love team wants to know how differences over money are straining your relationship. Tell us what’s going on, and we may get you some expert advice on an upcoming episode. Find out how to submit your voice memo here.

Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times.

Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story.

Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Episoder(435)

Open Your Heart and Loosen Up! Therapist Terry Real’s Advice for Fathers

Open Your Heart and Loosen Up! Therapist Terry Real’s Advice for Fathers

For Father’s Day, the Modern Love team asked for your stories about fatherhood and emotional vulnerability. We heard from listeners who told us that their dads rarely expressed their emotions, from li...

11 Jun 202558min

First Love Mixtape: Side B (Encore)

First Love Mixtape: Side B (Encore)

In last week’s episode, the Modern Love team shared the songs that taught us about love when we were young. But in this week’s episode, we hear from you, our listeners, about the songs that helped sha...

4 Jun 202522min

First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)

First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)

This episode of “Modern Love” features Lisa Selin Davis’s essay “What Lou Reed Taught Me About Love.” She writes about how the song “I’ll Be Your Mirror” became the soundtrack to her summer romance wi...

28 Mai 202521min

Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.

Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.

Elizabeth and Jeff were best friends. They did everything together, from early-morning runs to late-night karaoke sessions. They came up with secret code names for each other and went on undercover mi...

21 Mai 202539min

Why Boys and Men Are Floundering, According to Relationship Therapist Terry Real

Why Boys and Men Are Floundering, According to Relationship Therapist Terry Real

A session with Terry Real, a marriage and family therapist, can get uncomfortable. He’s known to mirror and amplify the emotions of his clients, sometimes cursing and nearly yelling, often in an attem...

14 Mai 202537min

A Mother’s Fierce, Extravagant Love (Encore)

A Mother’s Fierce, Extravagant Love (Encore)

In honor of Mother’s Day this week, we revisit the story of one mom who went to extraordinary lengths to make sure her daughter always felt her love, even after she was gone. Each time Genevieve Kings...

7 Mai 202522min

Miranda July Knew Exactly What She Was Doing

Miranda July Knew Exactly What She Was Doing

It’s been almost a year since Miranda July released her hit novel, “All Fours.” The novel features a woman in her mid-40s who heads out on a solo road trip across the country, only to stop at a roadsi...

30 Apr 202536min

You’re Probably Thinking About Boundaries All Wrong

You’re Probably Thinking About Boundaries All Wrong

KC Davis is a therapist and author known for her practical, empathetic advice on dealing with clutter, even when you are feeling like too much of a mess yourself to take care of the mess in your home....

23 Apr 202539min

Populært innen Samfunn

rss-spartsklubben
aftenpodden
giver-og-gjengen-vg
lydartikler-fra-aftenposten
konspirasjonspodden
aftenpodden-usa
rss-nesten-hele-uka-med-lepperod
popradet
rss-henlagt-andy-larsgaard
wolfgang-wee-uncut
grenselos
min-barneoppdragelse
synnve-og-vanessa
fladseth
rss-dette-ma-aldri-skje-igjen
frokostshowet-pa-p5
alt-fortalt
198-land-med-einar-trnquist
rss-dannet-uten-piano
relasjonspodden-med-dora-thorhallsdottir-kjersti-idem