When to Say What You Think (And When Not To) with Harvard Psychologist Steven Pinker
The High Performance Podcast29 Okt 2025

When to Say What You Think (And When Not To) with Harvard Psychologist Steven Pinker

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What makes great communicators stand out isn’t confidence, charisma, or talent, it’s clarity.


In this episode, cognitive scientist and Harvard professor Steven Pinker joins Damian to explore the hidden psychology behind how we speak, listen, and understand one another. He explains why the real art of communication isn’t about what we say, but about how we build common knowledge, the shared understanding that allows people to think, decide, and act together.


Pinker calls it one of the most overlooked habits in high performance: the ability to step outside your own head and see the world as others do. It’s how leaders create alignment, how teams build trust, and how ideas truly land.


Together, we explore:


  • Why "everyone knows it" is completely different from "everyone knows that everyone knows it"
  • The essential habit of knowing when to make the unspoken spoken (and when not to)
  • How to use focal points to coordinate without words
  • The three types of human relationships—and why mixing them up destroys trust
  • Why blunt honesty can be just as damaging as ambiguity


Whether you're leading a team, navigating a difficult conversation, or simply trying to communicate more effectively, this episode will transform how you think about language, relationships, and coordination


Steven’s new book ‘When Everyone Knows That Everyone Knows…’ is out now.

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