FFN 111: How to Command Respect

I see so many men who don't have any level of respect for themselves let alone being able to command any respect from others. I was noticing the other day as I was walking to the post office, that there were people who wouldn't even look me in the eye. And, not only would they not look me in the eye, they were working hard to ensure that they didn't have to look me in the eye. When I shake people's hand, I get these limp fish handshakes. Those are just two small examples of the manifestation of a lack of confidence. It's bad, guys. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You've seen this in co-workers, friends, kids, and maybe even yourself.

And, if you're someone who is not commanding respect, you are living a life less than you're capable of. I don't want that to be the case. I want you, as a man to step up, to be assertive, confident, to be able to ask for promotions, ask women on dates, and get out of this life what you should. And, part of that is being able to command the respect of other people.

When I talk about commanding respect, one of the things that I'm really addressing here is the idea of the "X-factor." We've all seen it. We've all been to a meeting, conference or office setting when we just feel somebody walk into the room. We turn around and see this guy who has "it," whatever "it" is. We can't quite put our finger on it but we know that this is a guy that has something special; there's something unique about this individual. What a lot of men do is write that off and dismiss it as something that he was naturally gifted or naturally born with. Sure, there may be men who have a predisposition to be more like this but I'll tell you what, being able to develop what most people write off as the "X-factor" is something that can be developed. I know this because that's what I've been able to do.

For a long time (especially when I was younger) I walked around very insecure, very complacent, and frankly just a little bit afraid and scared of life in general. I couldn't make eye contact with people. I couldn't hold a conversation. And not only that, I actually just tried to avoid people altogether. It wasn't up until relatively recently that I have been able to develop a level of confidence that allows me to look in another person's eyes. This newfound level of confidence allows me to ask and command exactly what I believe I deserve. I'm just telling you, from experience, it's a significantly better way to live.

I made a post on Instagram two or three weeks ago about teaching others how to treat you. A lot of people agreed with me and said, "Yeah, you definitely teach other people how to treat you," and other people blew that off and dismissed it. I believe that you and I are constantly teaching other people how we will be treated. We do this through our actions and our words and the way we carry ourselves We teach our kids, spouses, colleagues, employers, and bosses to what level of respect we will be treated with.

That's the last thing I want to see in men. I want men to walk around with their heads held high. I want them to have a level of confidence in what they're doing, who they are, and how they show up because I believe that this will, first, save their sanity and well-being and, second, determine much of their success.

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