Secure attachment in autism: How to help neurodiverse kids build joy, confidence, and connection with Dr. Peter Vermeulen

Secure attachment in autism: How to help neurodiverse kids build joy, confidence, and connection with Dr. Peter Vermeulen

Joining me this week is Dr. Peter Vermeulen, psychologist, author, and founder of Autism in Context. Peter has spent more than 35 years helping families, educators, and clinicians better understand autism and what it truly means to live a happy, meaningful life.

Together we explore:

- Why happiness and well-being deserve as much attention as therapies or interventions for autistic individuals - and what we can learn from autistic people who are thriving.

- How reframing "stereotyped interests" as passions and talents can open doors to meaning, confidence, and even careers.

- Why predictability is so essential for autistic children's sense of safety and how parents can build that into daily routines and relationships to foster a secure attachment bond.

- Just like you feed your child before they get hangry, how parents can "pre-regulate" their child's nervous system throughout the day to prevent overload, meltdowns, and dysregulation.

- Why autistic children absolutely do form attachments — and how differences in communication and perception can lead to misunderstandings in connection, not an absence of it.

- Practical ways to nurture love and security (Spoiler: things like creating predictable rituals, using concrete symbols, establishing shared routines to strengthen your bond, and more!)

Peter's message is both deeply compassionate and hopeful: autistic individuals are capable of happiness, love, and purpose — and when we meet them with curiosity and respect for how their brains see the world, we can help them build lives filled with meaning and joy.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://petervermeulen.be/

🔗 Good Feeling Questionnaire

📚 Autism as Context Blindness

📚 Autism and The Predictive Brain

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@pedrovermeulen

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 Every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and supported — and every parent deserves a place to turn. At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a full continuum of autism services: diagnostic testing, individual therapy, and parent support groups for families raising children and young adults on the spectrum. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options for you and your child.

🔗 Leo Kanner and autism: a 75-year perspective

🔗Attachment and Autism Spectrum Disorder (Without Intellectual Disability) During Middle Childhood: In Search of the Missing Piece

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neurodiverse brains and sleep with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about determining if a neuropsych evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen

🎧 Listen to my podcast episodes about Resources for Infant educarers with Deborah Carlisle Solomon

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Episoder(442)

Back by Popular Demand: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

Back by Popular Demand: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

25 Aug 50min

Q&A: What should I do if my child has intrusive thoughts?

Q&A: What should I do if my child has intrusive thoughts?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   What intrusive thoughts actually are. How to recognize when ...

20 Aug 33min

Child custody through divorce: Navigating the courts and building a custody schedule that works with Michael Fried

Child custody through divorce: Navigating the courts and building a custody schedule that works with Michael Fried

Michael Fried, a family law attorney at Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein joins me to help parents navigating divorce better understand what to expect when it comes to child custody, how courts make cus...

18 Aug 52min

Q&A: How can I get my child to be potty trained at night?

Q&A: How can I get my child to be potty trained at night?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   Why staying dry overnight is very different from daytime po...

13 Aug 18min

How to use music to strengthen your child's attachment, reduce stress, and create more moments of connection with Vered Benhorin

How to use music to strengthen your child's attachment, reduce stress, and create more moments of connection with Vered Benhorin

Vered Benhorin, music therapist and Baby in Tune founder, joins me to explore how music and connection can be powerful tools in your parenting toolbox.   Together we explore:   Why creating just a f...

11 Aug 45min

Q&A: Does my child have anxiety or are they just highly sensitive?

Q&A: Does my child have anxiety or are they just highly sensitive?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   Why some children seem to worry about everything, from strange noises to monsters u...

6 Aug 22min

Back by Popular Demand: What to do when your child says, "I'm stupid," "I hate myself," or "I'm a bad kid"

Back by Popular Demand: What to do when your child says, "I'm stupid," "I hate myself," or "I'm a bad kid"

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most impactful parenting conversations in Securely Attached history.   Few moments are more heartbreaking than hearing y...

4 Aug 40min

Q&A: What do I do when my child says "no" to everything?

Q&A: What do I do when my child says "no" to everything?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   Why children who are loving, sweet, and cooperative in many moments can still get s...

30 Jul 19min

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