The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno4 Nov 2025

A Year Later with Melissa & Drew (Season 1 Update)

This week, we take a special mid-season break to catch up with our Season 1 couple, Melissa and Drew. It's been a year since we last heard from them, and they're back to share an honest update. We revisit their old anxious-avoidant cycle—Melissa's fear of Drew's shutdowns and their struggles with parenting differences—and hear how they are navigating those triggers today.

Melissa and Drew share that while they've made "tremendous strides" in co-regulation, their work isn't over; in fact, they're continuing their journey with another therapist. Their update is a powerful, real-world look at what comes after the initial breakthroughs and serves as a vital reminder that healing is an ongoing process, not a final destination.

This check-in provides crucial context for our current season. Melissa and Drew's journey shows that even a less-escalated couple requires time, highlighting the patience needed for a highly-escalated couple like Bethany and Brian. This episode is a testament that growth is not linear, but a messy, courageous, and long-term journey.

This week's prompt: Reflect on your own healing journey. Where have you made "tremendous strides," and what parts of your old cycle do you still have to work on?

Send your responses to this prompt or any questions or comments about the podcast via email or voice note to support@thesecureelationship.com. Your submission might be featured on a future episode.

Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast
Take Julie's Anxious Attachment Course: Anxious Attachment: Self-Work Course
Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

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Episoder(64)

S3 | Session 18: Slowing Down the TEMPO to Co-Regulation (Season Finale)

Today is our season three finale . It has been an absolute privilege watching Rachel and Mike untangle their negative cycles, and they open today's session with the ultimate proof that the work is pay...

30 Jun 1h 16min

S3 | Session 17: Fear of the Goodness: Navigating Peace After Relationship Chaos

The feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop is universal. When your nervous system is deeply accustomed to chaos, peace can actually feel scary and alarming because it brings up fears of losing ...

23 Jun 1h 27min

S3 | Session 16: Too Sensitive? Healing the Belief That You Are Defective

Have you ever tried to set a boundary or express that you were uncomfortable only to be told that you're just being too sensitive or a stick in the mud? You know, when you hear that enough times, you ...

16 Jun 51min

S3 | Session 15: Two People Overboard: The Co-Regulation Conundrum

We can do all the heavy lifting in therapy, but sometimes life just throws too much at us at once. Between the holidays, chaotic work schedules, and general exhaustion, Rachel and Mike recently hit a ...

9 Jun 46min

S3 | Session 14: The Burden of the Poker Face: How Hiding Stress Hurts Your Marriage

Mike recently received some great news about a major work project, but instead of celebrating, he admits to Rachel that he is quietly carrying a massive amount of pressure behind his "professional pok...

26 Mai 1h 25min

S3 | Session 13: Always Second Place: Fighting to Be Your Partner's Priority

Today, we see what happens when Mike's loyalty to his family leaves Rachel feeling like she is "last on the list". When Rachel feels unprotected, she tries to handle her pain with logic, presenting ev...

19 Mai 1h 15min

S3 | Session 12: Between a Rock and a Hard Place: The Cost of "Going With the Flow"

Doing real emotional work is physically exhausting. When Mike logs on for this session, the very first thing he shares is that he feels completely "taxed and jumbled". He is asking his brain to operat...

12 Mai 1h 6min

S3 | Session 11: You Can't Problem Solve Your Way Out of Pain

When your partner is hurting, what is your immediate instinct? For most of us, it's to grab a toolbox. We want to solve the problem, clear up the misunderstanding, or offer the perfectly logical expla...

5 Mai 1h 6min