SexTok with Tracey and Kelsey

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My son is 25 and I’m 44. I split from his father soon after he was born and we are very close. He still lives at home and often has friends around, all of which I know well. Here’s the part I need advice on: one of his friends has a crush on me and it's flattering. I’ve seen him watching me and he flirts a lot, but he told me recently that he can’t stop thinking about me and would I consider a relationship with him. He didn’t make it clear if it was just sex or whether he saw a future. I haven’t had sex or a date in such a long time and am very tempted to say yes. But what would my son say and think? Is this the stupidest idea I’ve ever had? I feel like I deserve some fun after raising my son solo. 2) Is there ever a time when you would suggest a couple take a break from sex? I feel like we’ve got into some bad habits and need to hit the reset button.3) I split with my ex (his choice, not mine) three years ago. It was an extremely volatile relationship. I’ve had relationships since then, but no one has come close to matching the chemistry I had with him. Will I ever find it again? How do I get over pining for him and have this feeling again with someone else? To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

22 Nov 202321min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My jaw gets unbearably sore and tired just minutes into giving my partner a BJ. I’ve tried taking breaks by focusing on the testicles, but it’s never enough to recuperate, and he doesn’t seem to enjoy it much. My partner gives me lots of great oral sex and I want to do the same to him. How can I keep him occupied while I rest my jaw, and is there any way to stretch my jaw so it doesn’t get so sore so fast?2) I’m into piercings and quite like the idea of getting my genitals pierced. I’m a 23-year-old woman. My question is: How safe is it? Will it interfere with my ability to orgasm? And what does the average man think about piercings?3) I am a 34-year-old female and have been with my boyfriend for three years. I like sex, but I find it very hard to relax during it. I spend most of the time worrying about what I look like. All I see are imperfections: a fat stomach, cellulite, veins. Once I spot something I don’t want to see, I become obsessed with watching my boyfriend to see if he has noticed as well. I know I should be able to get past this, but how? I have seen his exes on Instagram and they are all thinner and better looking than me.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

15 Nov 202326min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’ve just broken up with a long-term boyfriend and am dating someone new. All is going well—except in the sex department. He has no problems getting an erection, but the minute he tries to penetrate, he loses it. If we can get him inside of me, he gets hard again and can orgasm. Is this ED? I worry it’s somehow my fault and I know he is embarrassed about it. What can I do to help stop this from happening? 2) How do you know if your partner is a sex addict? My husband has always wanted a lot of sex: daily for the seven years we have been together. (He’s 44, I’m 36.) But now it’s ramped up to him wanting it twice or three times a day. If I say no, he gets angry and goes off to masturbate. I know he watches a lot of porn when I am not around as well. To make things worse, we are trying for a baby and him constantly ejaculating could lower the sperm count. He sees nothing wrong with what’s happening. 3) I’ve been seeing a new man for the last few months and really like him. But we had a drunken argument one night and called it all off. I didn’t hear from him for a week, then he called to sort things out. During the week we broke up, I met up with someone else and had casual sex. All is back on track now, but imagine my horror when I find out my boyfriend had an altercation with the guy I slept with in the past. I’m now terrified it’s all going to come out. There are Facebook messages that prove this happened. I really love this man and the sex with the other guy was meant to be a bit of fun. My question is: Have I cheated? Should I wait and hope it doesn’t come out, or come clean and risk losing a relationship I see so much potential in?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Nov 202322min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) How do I learn to relax and enjoy my partner giving me oral sex? I’ve been seeing a guy and am really enjoying the relationship. At first, I wouldn’t let him go down on me for all the usual self-conscious reasons. But I decided to be open to the experience since he convinced me that he likes doing it. I still can’t get myself to fully relax and enjoy the experience. I worry about what reaction I should be having: how long it’s supposed to take, and if he’s just going to be disappointed again if I don’t orgasm. How can I get my brain to cooperate and learn to like oral sex?2) After 13 years of marriage, I found out my husband has had several sex affairs. I found a message from a woman he was sleeping with and, once confronted, he confessed and told me it wasn’t the first time. (This was his third). We married young and he says even though he doesn’t regret it and loves me, he feels he missed out on the sleeping with other people bit. He insists they were just sex and nothing else, and I believe him. He used condoms and was discreet. We are in counseling and working things through, but I am still so angry and feel like I want revenge. Should I have my own affair to even up the score?3) I’m a 24-year-old straight guy and learning lots about sex from your show! I’m curious about whether you can tell if a woman has had a real orgasm or not. I looked it up online and read that a red rash appears on the chest when a woman climaxes. I’ve slept with several women since then and not once has a rash appeared, even though they acted like they had an orgasm. Were they faking?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1 Nov 202326min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I seem to have the opposite problem to my friends. I’ve just had a baby (she’s six months old) and want to resume having sex with my partner. I’m not exactly dying to have sex, but do think it’s important for us to remain sexual. He knocks me back every time I initiate, coming up with weak excuses why he doesn’t feel like it. I still have some baby weight to lose, so is he just not attracted to me anymore? This is doing nothing for my self-esteem.2) My wife of 12 years has suddenly changed from not enjoying sex very much to wanting to try new things. I’m obviously pleased, but also a little paranoid because she seems very practiced doing things we’ve never done together. Where has she learned this stuff? Why the change all of a sudden? I’m trying not to jump to conclusions.3) I find it really arousing when women wear high heels to bed with nothing else on. I don’t think this classifies as a foot fetish because so many men enjoy it, but my questions is this: In this very woke, consent-aware world, is it still okay to ask a woman to do this? How long into our relationship should I wait? I don’t want her to think I need this to get off, but I don’t want to end up with someone who won’t indulge it either.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

25 Okt 202323min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’m a 43-year-old woman, happily married for nearly 20 years, with tween-aged children. My husband and I have always maintained a healthy sex life (even if it is a bit vanilla most of the time) The past few years we have scheduled sex, and usually average once or twice a week. But for some unknown reason, both our libidos have disappeared. We both just don’t feel like sex at all. It’s been 2 months! There has been no change to our lives, diet, or health. What can we do to get our mojo back? Why has our sex drive disappeared so suddenly? What can we do to want to feel like it again?2) My partner and I are feisty and argue a lot. It takes me a while to recover from an argument—I need time to calm down and reconnect with her. She gets over things quickly and wants to have sex the second things are okay again. She says having sex is the quickest way to get ‘normal’ again, but I don’t want it until the emotional connection is back. How do we fix this?3) I’ve been with my partner for 8 years and we have a child. He is open to the idea of opening up our relationship to explore sex, both together and individually. We haven't done it yet, but how do I know it won't massively strain our relationship? We are so open, and we talk about sex and fantasies all the time to help boost our sex life. But when push comes to shove, how can I be sure opening up our relationship won't complicate and ruin things?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

18 Okt 202323min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I was in a relationship for 10 years and the sex was never great, but I felt safe and supported and in a lot of ways, I loved my life. We were both each other’s first boyfriend/girlfriend, but we barely had sex and I didn't feel desired. On the rare occasions we did, he’d lose his erection. I tried to get him to feel comfortable talking about sex and be more interested in it, but it felt more like a brother and sister relationship. After three years of therapy, I decided I wanted more and ended the marriage. I have been successfully dating since then, been having great sex, and even tried sex clubs. But I haven't felt the same safety and security in a relationship since. I had great sex with one guy and the chemistry was off the charts, but he wasn't very nice to me. I’m now worried I ended it with my husband looking for a fantasy. Can you have great sex and great friendship in a relationship? Or, is there always a sacrifice? Should I have tried harder to get him interested in sex? My ex-husband is getting married again so he must have sorted things out with his new partner. 2) I’m a 29-year-old virgin. It’s not for religious reasons, and I’m not waiting for marriage. Sex just didn’t feel right for me growing up, but now I feel like the pressure is mounting as I get older. I’m worried what a future partner or fling will say. Will they find my inexperience unsexy? How should I handle the situation, and what advice can you give me to prepare?3) My daughter is 16. We're very close, and I've always been very open with her about sex. She's never expressed a romantic or sexual interest in anyone until last week when she told me she's "not straight" and has a crush on a girl at school. I'm actually relieved that she is having normal teenage feelings. My question is how, as a straight woman, to best support her and continue to educate her about sex in the coming years? What conversations might we need to have that are particular to her sexuality? Should I seek out a gay woman for her to confide in? To be clear, she has not expressed any need for additional support. I'm just a mum trying to be prepared.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

11 Okt 202328min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) How long should you wait to have sex? I’ve been seeing someone for nearly two months and we still haven't had sex. We've talked about it, but it feels like she’s trying to long kick the conversation. The intimacy is great, but I would have hoped for some oral at least? It does feel like she’s not as interested in sex as I am. 2) I have been very happily married to my best friend for almost 35 years and raised four awesome kids. We have always had a great sex life. My husband has struggled with ED (Erectile Dysfunction) for the last 15 years. He's not able to take Viagra for health reasons. Instead they gave him Tri-Mix, an injection that produces erections that last 3 to 4 hours. So does he! He's very attentive to my needs, but I can’t go that long. What’s worse is because he's found this new game changer, he wants to have sex every other day. The spontaneity has gone, and I am now dreading sex with him. It feels scheduled and mechanical. I miss the days of the ‘slow work up’ to love making, knowing my many talents are working on him. I am finding myself flirting with other men and fantasizing about them. Please help!3) We have great sex that’s very passionate and fulfilling and have been together 11 years. We’ve also had over 12 breakups and makeups. We’ve never lived together—not my choice. Do you have advice on how to build a solid relationship? We’re a straight couple and both 58.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Sep 202324min