“Apple’s pizza is waaaay too big” — Apple’s 4-1 stock split. P&G stole Sysco's sales. Amazon’s record.
Fresh after hitting Capitol Hill, the Tech Big 4 announced earnings reports (they were epic). We’re focused on Apple’s 5 profit puppies and Amazon’s double-double. Then Procter & Gamble sneaked in wit...
31 Jul 202015min
“Does this tie make my hoodie look fat?” — The Big Tech 4 hit DC. Blue Apron’s shocker profit. AMC’s movie truce.
Amazon. Apple. Facebook. Google. CEOs of the Big Tech 4 hit up Capitol Hill for their biggest Congressional grilling, maybe ever. Blue Apron whipped up its 1st profit since IPO’ing, but then the stock...
30 Jul 202017min
“Kodak’s FOMO-ment” — TikTok’s latest Zucking. Lysol’s consulting gig. Kodak’s stock triples.
Kodak went bankrupt in 2012, but now it’s pulling off an epic pivot from photographer to pharmacist. TikTok is going through a Level 6 Zucking courtesy of Instagram’s new Reels feature. And Lysol want...
29 Jul 202019min
“Apple’s got a Stage 5 Clinger” — Jamf’s IPO. DraftKings Opening Day drama. Ro hits $1.5B
DraftKings shares dropped 6% because baseball just had its first mid-season COVID crisis. Jamf stock has doubled since its IPO because it’s got a single mission: Help your company thrive on Apple devi...
28 Jul 202019min
“Favorite child? It’s hard seltzer” — Boston Beer’s 21% surge. The biggest SPAC ever. No blockbusters in 2020.
Sam Adams owner Boston Beer shockingly doubled profits last quarter, but it’s not thanks to Boston Beer. Disney, Apple, and Netflix have made moves that just killed the summer blockbuster biz. And the...
27 Jul 202015min
“You have to be this tall to get in the S&P 500” — Tesla’s profit shocker. Ben & Jerry’s e-ice cream. Microsoft bundle-bullies Slack.
Tesla shares hit a record high on its first ever full year of profit. Microsoft was caught bundle-bullying Slack, which is claaaassic ‘90s Microsoft. And Unilever announced earnings, but we’re focused...
24 Jul 202019min
“Spotify’s not a tech company” — Pfizer’s $2B Operation Warp Speed. Misfit’s ugly veggie $85M. Spotify’s new record label deal.
Pfizer snags a $2B contract to produce 100M COVID-19 vaccines for the US government as part of Operation Warp Speed. Spotify has so many marginal costs, so it just added a new revenue stream to try to...
23 Jul 202017min
“The Hamilton Musical (for economies)” — Europe’s $2T joint bank account. Starbucks’ free lattes. Coca-Cola’s “new news” stock bump.
Europe just whipped up a $2T stimulus package that looks a lot like what the United states pulled off… in 1790. Starbucks changed its Rewards Program and Wendy’s just launched the 1st ever rewards app...
22 Jul 202019min
