The Cult I Left Behind

The Cult I Left Behind

Newly-ish married couple, Amanda and Kyle, discuss Amanda’s upbringing in the IBLP cult of Duggar infamy – a story Kyle learns about along with listeners. Through sometimes humorous, sometimes heartbreaking stories, Amanda and Kyle explore the cult’s ideology, the strange rules that surrounded Amanda’s childhood, and the abuse she endured before leaving the cult. Through it all, they talk about what it takes to break free from a cult and what gets left behind.

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Episoder(106)

87 - Chantelle’s Story: From Shame and Control to Healing and Freedom

87 - Chantelle’s Story: From Shame and Control to Healing and Freedom

When Chantelle was sent to the cult Headquarters as an “encouragement case,” she encountered Bill Gothard’s inappropriate and abusive behavior toward teenage girls firsthand. She shares what it was li...

1 Sep 20251h 42min

86 - Mother Wounds with Jessica Jocelyn (Part 2)

86 - Mother Wounds with Jessica Jocelyn (Part 2)

In the second half of our conversation with poet Jessica Jocelyn, we pick up where the shocking story of her mom left off. Jessica shares how poetry became a way to make sense of loss, love, and the w...

18 Aug 20251h 20min

85 - Mother Wounds with Jessica Jocelyn (Part 1)

85 - Mother Wounds with Jessica Jocelyn (Part 1)

In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, we’re honored to welcome poet Jessica Jocelyn—whose writing has been a healing touchstone for Amanda and may already be familiar to listeners of the podcast. J...

4 Aug 20251h 24min

84 - Sometimes, You Get What You Want

84 - Sometimes, You Get What You Want

Amanda has gotten a lot of questions about whether she would ever let anyone from her biological family back into her life. For a long time, the answer was no. But then something changed. It’s bee...

21 Jul 202529min

83 - Dear Diary

83 - Dear Diary

Amanda reads from her childhood diaries—yes, actual entries from her cult years—and then melts through the floor in embarrassment. It’s awkward, vulnerable, and a surprisingly raw window into growing ...

7 Jul 202545min

82 - One Story, Two Journeys

82 - One Story, Two Journeys

Amanda opens this episode with some never-before-shared stories from her early experiences in therapy—including one that caught even Kyle off guard. From there, the mic turns, and Kyle shares what it ...

23 Jun 202541min

81 - Losing Parents the Second Time

81 - Losing Parents the Second Time

In a deeply personal episode, Amanda opens up about the circumstances that led to the end of her relationship with her adoptive parents. What started as a long-building tension came to a head when Ama...

9 Jun 202545min

80 - Family Ended With Boundaries

80 - Family Ended With Boundaries

Content warning: This episode includes discussion of sexual violence, including against children. When Amanda set boundaries with her bio family—and the brother who abused her—she expected it to be h...

26 Mai 20251h 14min

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