We Hate Movies

In this week's episode, the gang tackles the laughless, Anthony Michael Hall passion project, Hail Caesar! How did something like this get the green light? Why did Robert Downey agree to this nothing role? And how dare they drop a secret music video into this film? PLUS: The search for laughs turns up zero results. Hail Caesar stars Anthony Michael Hall, Bobbie Phillips, Leslie Danon, Samuel L. Jackson, Judd Nelson, Robert Downey Jr., Robert Downey Sr., and Frank Gorshin; directed by Anthony Michael Hall... for some reason. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

22 Apr 20141h 40min

In this week's episode, the gang enters the Under 18 All-Valley tournament with Ralph Macchio and Thomas Ian Griffith in the ridiculous sequel, The Karate Kid Part III! Why did the filmmakers insist on making all the stories play back-to-back? How is John Kreese not in prison for joking out kids in parking lots? And what is with that platonic relationship crap, LaRusso? PLUS: Terry Silver takes over the crown as Greatest WHM Villain! The Karate Kid Part III, stars Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, Robyn Lively, Martin Kove, Sean Kanan and Thomas Ian Griffith; directed by John Avildsen. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

15 Apr 20141h 35min

In this week's episode, the gang gets nostalgic for '80s arcade culture with the ?classic? raunch comedy, Joysticks! How does this nerd fall for that sorority prank at the beginning? Why isn't Joe Don Baker tossing furniture in this movie? And isn't it beautiful to see the entire high school caste system melt away once these characters enter the glorious video arcade? Plus: Joe Don Baker gets mistakenly cast in Boogie Nights! Joysticks stars the great Joe Don Baker, Leif Green, Jim Greenleaf, Scott McGinnis, Corinne Bohrer & Jon Gries; directed by Greydon Clark. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

8 Apr 20141h 30min

In this week's episode, the gang goes on the road with Elijah Wood and Bruce Willis in the absolutely horrendous family tragedy, North! Who thought any of the so-called jokes in this movie would actually land? How is it that no one saw just how cruel this film is? And how on Earth did they get away with so much racism? Plus: Some of the most stomach churning child acting you've ever seen! North stars Elijah Wood, Bruce Willis, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jon Lovitz, Alan Arkin, Dan Aykroyd, Reba McEntire, Graham Greene, Kathy Bates, Abe Vigoda, Richard Belzer, John Ritter, Faith Ford, Scarlett Johansson and Robert Costanzo; directed by Rob Reiner. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

1 Apr 20141h 47min

In this week's episode, the gang tries (and fails) to travel through time with Fisher Stevens and Dennis Hopper in the forgotten sci-fi dud, My Science Project! Why did the script call for all those slurs? How does this time travel movie not feature any time travel? And how do you boil Dennis Hopper down into such a nothing character? Plus: A kid from 1985 travels to a McDonald's...in 1998. My Science Project stars John Stockwell, Danielle von Zerneck, Fisher Stevens and Dennis Hopper; directed by Jonathan R. Betuel. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

25 Mar 20141h 24min

In this week's episode, the gang heads back to snowy Maine with Thomas Jane and Jason Lee in the fart filled, Stephen King adaptation, Dreamcatcher! Really, what is with all the farting? Was Stephen King just recycling all his old ideas to make one super-sized Stephen King novel? And why does the military have to get involved? Plus: Wilford Brimley accidentally votes Carter in '76. Dreamcatcher stars Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damian Lewis, Timothy Olyphant, Morgan Freeman, Donnie Wahlberg and the Unemployable Tom Sizemore; directed by Lawrence Kasdan. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

18 Mar 20141h 46min

In this week's episode, the gang travels to Montreal - or do they stay in New York? - to ride alongside Gary Busey in the geographically confused art thriller, Canvas! Have there ever been two less convincing actors playing New York Italians? How are the cops not on to Gary Busey this whole time? And does this film take place in Montreal or New York? PLUS: This movie's bullshit, Indy! Canvas stars Gary Busey, John Rhys-Davies, Vittorio Rossi, Nick Caviola and Jonathan Palis; directed by Alain Zaloum. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

11 Mar 20141h 27min

In this week's episode, the gang takes a creepy trip south to point and stare at Michael Caine in the incredibly disturbing Blame It On Rio! Why is there a parrot in almost every shot? Has Michael Caine ever been seedier? And why doesn't Demi Moore step in and stop this madness? Plus: Is there anything you can't blame on Rio? Blame It On Rio stars Michael Caine, Michelle Johnson, Joseph Bologna, Demi Moore and Valerie Harper; directed by Hollywood legend, Stanley Donen. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

4 Mar 20141h 24min