Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

We are the Mommies 24 - 7, baby. Whatever you done heard, you can forget that. We are who we are and that's that! When Carla goes to Wendy(sic) or Burger King she doesn't get the respect she is owed (MacDonald's(sic) doesn't do her like that). Who is the real leader of sayin "you know what I'm sayin?" Do you know what we're asking here? If you have a whole weight, keep going. Make yourself very, very fat and then make videos and money. Your dreams can be your reality! Plus you know we got that JJ Fish joint you been dying to hear. Get those jeans on and PULL THEM UP. "No, you have a good muthaf***in' night." - Carla Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Feb 20141h 4min

No more juice for the Main Mommy. Tommy drank something gnarly which made fluids come out of all of his holes - which delayed today's ep. Buns is farting and puking and sweating, but he's still here for you. What if you have no teeth, but you love certain sex acts? You shouldn't hide in shame, you should make songs about it. Leon Lewis knows what we're talkin' bout! Oasis was one of the biggest bands in the world at one point and then it all fell apart. Now, former guitarist Noel Gallagher hates all of the videos they made and so much more about himself and the audio about it is priceless. Plus your Would You Rather's and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Feb 201459min

Andy Erikson AKA Ernie AKA "Can I get a ride?" is in the building (the Mommy Dome). A former police officer, Andy is no nonsense when it comes to enforcing rules and eating snacks. If you don't know why you suck stuff are you supposed to? Maybe you're a suck puppet. That's it. That's your role in life. Why do black people say hair-on instead of heroin? We go DEEP this episode. Both ladies have had multiple men pull pud in front of them and they happily ELABORATE. Is Which Is Mike Singletary back????? Pull your jeans up and find out! What gift will Andy bring Tom in Tacoma? Check back in a month to find out.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Feb 20141h 3min

I've been wanting to see what's in those Jeans for a long time! Oh, get your dirty mind out of my jeans. Cab drivers are hot and we all want a piece of them. Our favorite part about riding around with cabbies is their smell but also their cleanliness and also listening to their nice music and also when they ignore our requests. Yeah, that's about it. Shakey Jeans is gone, but who will replace him? Hopefully someone with a more debilitating condition. Is the NFL ready for a gay player? What if an entire team were gay and amazingly talented? We pray for this. Tom and Tina talk about their new business idea - which involves juice and dudes. We got Brown Talk, a NEW release from the King (A** Ripper), a wanna-be tough guy and MORE!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Feb 20141h 5min

If you're Irish or Scottish and angry we love you and can't understand a word. Please explain how we share the same language. We revisit the sexy as hell, you know what I'm sayin guy or girl or transitioning girl to guy or something else. All we're sure of is that it breathes like Biggie Smalls. The homeless gay man who has sex with a ghost is also fully explored and we rarely say this, but his love for the love he receives is inspiring. Tina and Tommy can't agree on Tinder. Is it Grinder for straight people or is it for real love? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Feb 20141h 2min

Pull your jeans up, this is a good one! Kettle bell enthusiast, horseback riding instructor, competitive dancer and comedian/actor Bryan Callen steps into the Mommy Dome. He is well read and easy on the eyes. Sure he has a narrow waist line, but also his eyes are intoxicating. We cover way too much to write about in this endless space. Sociopaths, meditation, addiction, teeth and so much more. Stand up is the best thing is one of the main things we took away from this and that makes us happy. This ep has great WYR, Tom or Black and conversation that is so fun you'll be weaving new denim for yourself by the days end. JEANS UNIT! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Feb 20141h 10min

King A** Ripper has met his match! We ambush Tommy's cousin Jeanette into sitting down in our studio and lettin' em rip and boy does she ever. No, she's not the fart queen, but she is the Prime Minister of Belching. After some poking and pleading she finally and frequently shares her gift with the world. This episode is an instant classic. It has family, filth, WYR, Tom or Black, D**K Detectives, and more. We try to horrify Cousin Jeanette and I think we did. Mission accomplished.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

31 Jan 20141h 13min

It's not bad to consider that if you're not good at something then you should quit! And if you don't quit then hopefully Eric Kelly will appear at the thing you're not good at and make fun of you. On camera. Shout out to all the little mommies that are down for the git down! We give you a proper salute. The live show was the Jimmy Jam and you the man, man. Sometimes when people who love each other eat together, they also end up blowing burp wind on each other (or just one way). The C-word is a fun word. Stop being so sensitive, you stupid C-word. We wear are JEANS so high for YOU!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Jan 20141h 3min