Solo but not alone: Navigating sperm donation on the path to motherhood - with Mel Johnson
In/Fertility In The City1 Dec 2025

Solo but not alone: Navigating sperm donation on the path to motherhood - with Mel Johnson

In this episode of In/Fertility in the City, hosts Natalie Sutherland and Somaya Ouazzani sit down with Mel Johnson, known as The Solo Parenthood Coach and founder of The Stork and I. Mel became a solo mum at 37 after years of dating, heartbreak and fearing she’d “run out of time” to become a parent. Mel opens up about:
  • The breakdown of her long-term relationship just before 30, and how that shifted her timeline for motherhood
  • Reaching a point where her fear of missing out on parenthood outweighed her fear of doing it alone
  • Using IVF and donor sperm, choosing a clinic-based donor, and why the donor’s letter mattered more than his stats
  • Building a support “village”: moving closer to family, leaning on friends, and creating a community of solo mums
  • Talking to her daughter about being donor-conceived and navigating questions around donors, half-siblings and male role models
  • The reality of solo parenting and work – finances, flexible employers and why support is non-negotiable
  • Ethical and legal issues around unregulated sperm donation, HFEA rules and the end of true donor anonymity
Mel is honest that solo parenthood isn’t for everyone. She shares the questions she believes every prospective solo parent should ask about support, money, mental health and – crucially – what it might mean for their future child. If you’re considering solo motherhood, working with donor gametes, or supporting someone who is, this episode is a nuanced, grounded must-listen.

About our guest:

Mel Johnson is a solo mum to her seven-year-old daughter, conceived through IVF using donor sperm. After navigating her own journey into solo motherhood, she founded The Stork and I, a platform and community for women exploring or pursuing solo parenthood. As a qualified coach, Mel supports single women from the “Should I do this?” stage through every step of treatment, conception and beyond.

In this episode, we discuss:
  • From Plan A to Plan B (or just a different Plan A)
    • The end of Mel’s seven-year relationship just before her 30th birthday
    • Dating through her 30s, the “milestone” pressure of 35, and the desperation that can lead to bad choices
    • The moment, at 37, when her fear of missing out on parenthood became stronger than her fear of doing it solo
  • Solo motherhood as a real – and rising – path to parenthood
    • Why more single women are choosing to become parents without waiting for “Mr Right”
    • The tension between not wanting to settle in a relationship and not wanting to miss out on children
    • How broader social changes, dating culture and HFEA data reflect this trend
  • Creating a village: doing it alone, but not on your own
    • Moving from a trendy part of Manchester to Southport to be closer to family
    • Co-parenting with a “village”: divorced parents who are now heavily involved, her brother, friends and a network of solo mums
    • “Granny Day” – the weekly overnight at Mel’s mum’s house that gives her one night off every week
    • Why some solo parents may actually experience more practical support than couples
  • Donor conception and choosing a sperm donor
    • Why Mel chose IVF with her own eggs and clinic-based donor sperm
    • The donor questionnaire: physical characteristics, religion, education and the importance of donor letters
    • Why the donor’s explanation of why he donated – and his willingness to be contacted in future – was crucial for Mel
    • HFEA rules around family limits and how many families can use the same donor
  • Known vs clinic donors & unregulated donation
    • Legal and emotional risks of unregulated or informal sperm donation
    • When known donation can work well – and when it can go badly wrong
    • Financial barriers to clinic treatment and why some women feel pushed towards informal routes
    • The argument for earlier access to donor information and the impact of commercial DNA testing on anonymity
  • Talking to children about donor conception and family structure
    • How Mel explains her daughter’s conception story in simple, age-appropriate language
    • Why she currently avoids using “sibling” as a label for donor-conceived genetic relatives
    • Her daughter’s perspective on family: granny, granddad, mum – and the two cats at the very top of the family tree
    • Male role models: the role Mel’s dad, brother and friends play, and whether “gendered” role models are really necessary
  • Future contact with the donor
    • Examples from donor-conceived adults: curiosity, connection, indifference and rejection
    • Managing expectations around what meeting a donor can realistically look like
    • Mel’s role as a parent: supporting whatever her daughter wants while protecting her from “fairy-tale” expectations
  • Career, money and the practical realities of solo parenthood
    • Being the only earner – why career stability and an understanding employer are essential
    • Remote working, flexible hours and how her company supported her return from maternity leave
    • The pressure on solo parents being pushed back into the office and long commutes
    • Why Mel recognises her own privilege in having supportive work and family structures
  • Fertility treatment: Mel’s IVF journey
    • Going straight to IVF to maximise chances of success
    • Creating three embryos, experiencing a chemical pregnancy, and then a successful transfer
    • The emotional and ethical weight of deciding what to do with her final embryo
  • Is solo parenthood for you? Mel’s advice
    • Practical support and a genuine “village”
    • Financial reality – both treatment and raising a child
    • Mental health and resilience
    • Why she has no regrets about her decision – but does regret the years of anxiety about “running out of time”
    • The three pillars she thinks everyone should consider:
    • Questioning whether you truly want children – or whether you feel you “should” because of societal expectations
    • The importance of community: connecting with others considering or living solo parenthood through group coaching and peer support
    • Useful research and lived-experience resources for anyone considering this route


--

About King’s Fertility (Sponsor):

One of London’s most respected IVF clinics, working with King’s College Hospital and King’s College London. King’s Fertility offers NHS and private patients world-leading research, advanced treatment, and compassionate care. Learn more at kingsfertility.co.uk

Connect With Us:
  • Email: info@infertilityinthecity.com
  • Instagram / LinkedIn / X: @infertilityinthecity
  • TikTok: @infertility.in.the.city
  • YouTube: @InFertilityintheCity
  • Website: www.infertilityinthecity.com
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