When "How Can I Help?" Makes You Want to Scream: Let's Talk Emotional Labor, ADHD, and the Fair Play Solution with Dr Regina Lark.

Join me in this powerful conversation with Dr. Regina Lark about the invisible work that keeps all our homes and lives running, but that ultimately leaves us completely exhausted.

In this episode, we dive deep into emotional labor, and the mental load, and why as women, we're constantly doing the behind-the-scenes work that no one sees or values.

Dr Regina has a PhD in women's history and runs a professional organizing and move management company, and she brings a refreshing perspective on the work of household management, decluttering, and the cognitive skills required to keep everything together and running smoothly.

We talk about the reality of being the "default parent," the one who's always doing the mental math (like figuring out if we need to to feed the kids by 5:30pm so we can get to the sitter by 6pm so we can make it to that 7pm concert). Sound familiar? Yeah, me too!

Regina explains how the work we do at home requires the exact same executive function skills that professionals use in the workplace and that business leaders require to succeed, skills like; planning, processing, sequencing, time management. Yet somehow when we're doing it at home, it's dismissed as "just women's work" or a "labor of love" instead of being recognized as the actual labor and never-ending workload that it is.

We also get into ADHD in women, chronic disorganization, and why so many of us are just now discovering we've been struggling with executive function challenges our whole lives.

If you've ever felt overwhelmed by clutter, asked permission to throw something away, or wondered why your partner doesn't just see what needs to be done, then this conversation is for you.

Regina introduces the concept of radical delegation and shares the game-changing Fair Play method (with actual playing cards!) that helps couples divide household responsibilities equitably. And makes the invisible work we all do, so much more visible.

We talk about weaponized incompetence, the dreaded "how can I help?" question, and practical ways to create a household where everyone actually wants to live.

This isn't just about organizing your home, it's about re-organizing your life, setting boundaries, asking for help, and recognizing that you deserve support with the enormous amount of work required to keep a house running, the very work that holds the entire fabric of our society together!

So whether you're a working mom, managing a household solo, or trying to balance career and family, this conversation will make you feel seen and give you tools to create real change. Join me for this honest, compassionate discussion about women's work, gender equity, household equity, and what it really takes to lighten the load we've been carrying for far too long.

===

GUEST LINKS:

Website: https://aclearpath.net/

Website: https://www.reginalark.com/

Book: https://www.reginalark.com/emotional-labor/

https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Labor-Womans-Never-About/dp/B09HG6C5GF/ref=sr_1_12?dchild=1&keywords=regina+lark&qid=1633128045&s=books&sr=1-12

RESOURCES:

The Fair Play Policy Institute: https://www.fairplaylife.com/

Fair Play Cards: https://www.fairplaylife.com/the-cards

Institute for Challenging Disorganisation: https://www.challengingdisorganization.org/

.

===

•Website: https://www.vilates.com/

•FREE RESOURCE Massage Meditation: www.vilates.com/free-breast-massage-meditation

•Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vilates_/

•Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3fs2KlkHNzICKAg2crZSMB

•Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ecology-of-intimacy-podcast/id1772602980

===

.

.

.

.

Disclaimer This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, medical practitioner, professional coach, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this podcast. Copyright 2025 © Vilates, Pty. Ltd - All rights reserved.