EP60 - Evolutionary Psychology Insights Regarding Dating and Mating

Welcome to episode 244 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Paul Yong to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss pain after orgasms, the effects of endometriosis and the relationship between hormones and testosterone around this issue.     Dr. Paul Yong (MD, PhD, FRCSC) is a Gynaecologist at the BC Women’s Centre for Pelvic Pain & Endometriosis and directs the Research Program at the BC Women’s Centre for Pelvic Pain & Endometriosis. Dr. Yong’s clinical practice is focused on pelvic pain, with a particular interest in endometriosis, painful periods, sexual pain, co-existing bladder and bowel problems, and pain related to the musculoskeletal system.     His clinical research interests are in endometriosis and pelvic pain, and his translational research interests include bio-banking of endometriosis, gene sequencing in endometriosis, and investigating nerve formation in the pelvis as a cause of pain. Dr. Yong is also involved in teaching and is Assistant Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics & Gynaecology, Division of Gynaecologic Specialties.    In this episode, you will hear:     Looking at pain post orgasm   How common is it to have pain after orgasms?  Is this more prevalent in men or women?  Looking at endometriosis  How long does pain usually last for people experiencing pain post orgasm?  Recommendations for those struggling with this  Looking at treatments for endometriosis  Can endometriosis turn into a chronic pain?  Recommendations for women experiencing pain during intercourse   The relationship between hormones and testosterone around these issues       Find Dr. Paul Yong Online  https://yonglab.med.ubc.ca     Expanding Imagination Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/erotic-awakening/    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

24 Aug 202126min

Welcome to episode 243 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Kate Balestrieri to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss revenge porn, safety measures we might be able to take to protect ourselves, looking at the psychological profile of people leaking sexual images and the importance of parents to talk to their kids about this issue.    Dr. Kate Balestrieri, Psy.D., CSAT-S, is a Licensed Psychologist (Clinical and Forensic) in CA, FL and IL. She is a Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist – Supervisor, and PACT II trained couples’ therapist. Dr. Balestrieri earned her Doctorate of Clinical Psychology from the Illinois School of Professional Psychology, Chicago, and completed her Post-Doctoral Fellowship though the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine with a concentration in Forensic Psychology. In over 14 years of clinical experience, she has conducted clinical and forensic evaluations, provided expert witness testimony in court, and been a treatment provider in clinical, forensic, and correctional settings.     The Founder of Modern Intimacy and Co-Founder of Triune Therapy Group, Dr. Balestrieri is a passionate advocate for mental health, relational and sexual health and wellness. In her private practice, Dr. Balestrieri works with adults, individuals and couples, primarily around treating trauma, substance abuse and addiction, intimacy disorders (sex/love addiction and sexual dysfunction), eating disorders and body image issues, bipolar disorder, Posttraumatic Stress disorder, depression, and anxiety. She also conducts comprehensive personality assessments, differential diagnosis evaluations, and screenings for the presence of alcohol/drug addiction, compulsive relationship behavior, and other psychosexual evaluations.     Throughout her work, Dr. Balestrieri focuses on helping people build resilience and recovery from what ails them to move from a position of pain or discomfort to one of thriving, holistically in their lives. In that effort, Dr. Balestrieri works with individuals astutely to help mitigate anger management concerns, establish healthy boundaries, build effective communication strategies, and improve relationship patterns.    In this episode, you will hear:     How Dr. Kate became interested in the sexuality field   Looking around the issues that lead to revenge porn   How can we protect ourselves from revenge porn?  Communicating with your partner about what happens to photos, videos etc  Looking at the psychological profile of people leaking sexual images   How many victims of revenge porn don’t come forward and report it   Is narcissism a character trait of someone leaking images?  Safety measures we might be able to take, E.G using secure apps  Looking at how authorities around the world are putting in legislation to deal with revenge porn   The importance of parents to talk to their kids about this issue   Understanding the consequences of leaking sexual images     Find Dr. Kate Balestrieri Online  https://www.modernintimacy.com     Expanding Imagination Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/erotic-awakening/    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

17 Aug 202131min

Welcome to episode 242 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Diane Gleim to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss whether it's bad to watch porn, the emergence of ethical porn, how many people fantasize about sex with multiple people, and the relationship between porn and masturbation.    Diane Gleim is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor practicing in northern California. Her clients include anyone with a sexual concern: individuals and couples ages 18-80 and beyond, and the LGBTQ+, kinky, and poly populations. She treats the many diverse issues related to sexual identity, sexual expression, sexual behavior, and sexual relationships.     In addition to her private practice, Diane’s work also includes training mental health professionals on a variety of topics related to sex and therapy and writing the blog Underneath the Sheets on Psychology Today’s website. She has been voted Sonoma County’s Best Sex Therapist for 4 years. Finally, Diane has appeared in various media including podcasts, her local media publications, and in Mel Magazine, The Buzz by Pure Romance, Quartz, and CNN.com.    In this episode, you will hear:     Looking at the definition of porn   The ambiguous areas of porn   Analyzing the “suspension of disbelief”   How can we create piece of mind for ourselves when consuming porn?   Looking at the emergence of ethical porn   The contributing factors behind people reacting negatively to porn   Understanding it’s ok to like different types of porn   How many people fantasize about sex with multiple people   Communicating your porn consumption to your partner   The relationship between porn and masturbation   Why robust arguments in a relationship can be healthy long term         Find Diane Gleim Online  https://www.dianegleimmft.com     Expanding Imagination Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/erotic-awakening/    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

10 Aug 202128min

Welcome to episode 241 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss the relationship between pleasure and pornography, how our erotic template fits into porn and analyzing the negative connotations that usually come with porn.    Alan McKee is a Professor in Digital and Social Media in the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences at UTS. He is an expert on entertainment and healthy sexual development. He has published on healthy sexual development, and entertainment education for healthy sexuality in journals including the New Media and Society, Archives of Sexual Behavior, the International Journal of Sexual Health, the Journal of Sex Research and Sex Education.    Katerina Litsou is a senior research assistant and a doctoral researcher at the University of Southampton. She has a bachelor of psychology and a master of sexology. Her current research focuses on female sexuality and the use of pornography.    In this episode, you will hear:     How Alan & Katerina became interested in this field  How porn can be a feminist political act   Looking at the data from various studies on porn  How is porn defined in the research?  Analyzing the negative connotations that usually come with porn   The relationship between healthy masturbation and porn   The importance of transparency and consent   Looking at the correlation between pleasure and porn   How many women feel porn isn’t politically correct   Looking at how our erotic template fits into porn   Analyzing the pros and cons of amateur porn         Find Alan McKee Online  https://twitter.com/profalanmckee     Find Katerina Litsou Online  https://twitter.com/kleechou     Expanding Imagination Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/free-erotica     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

3 Aug 202142min

Welcome to episode 240 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Majo Molfino to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss how Majo decided to write Break the Good Girl Myth, the most challenging myths for sex and sexuality and learning to understand your past and move forward.    Majo Molfino guides women toward more power and meaning through her unique blend of storytelling, design, psychology, and mindfulness. Her work can be seen through her podcast (which features women such as Sophia Amoruso and Byron Katie and has over one million downloads), her book (which helps women shed the good girl myths the patriarchy has imposed upon them), and her leadership program IGNITE.     She also has a Master’s in learning, design, and technology from Stanford University and a bachelor’s degree in psychology with a minor in cultural studies from McGill University.    In this episode, you will hear:     How Majo decided to write Break the Good Girl Myth   How these myths get in the way of having the relationships they want   Looking at the five good girl myths   The most challenging myths for sex and sexuality   Analyzing the myth of harmonies and boundaries   The importance of giving our partners sexual feedback   How 50% of women are not talking about the pain they experience during sex  Learning to be comfortable making mistakes and see what shows up   Looking at the short-term benefits of the good girl myths   Learning to understand your past and move forward       Find Majo Molfino Online   https://goodgirlmyth.com     Dating Anxiety Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/dating-anxiety    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

27 Juli 202132min

Welcome to episode 239 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Erica Lemke-Pembroke to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss Erica’s journey to getting to her place of confidence, the importance of self-love and self-respect and how you can build your confidence to feel sexier.    Erica Lemke-Pembroke, MA, is a certified life coach, licensed, specialty-certified New Life Story ® wellness coach and sexual confidence coach. Erica has a master's degree in community counseling with a concentration in marriage and family therapy. She also holds a bachelor's degree in kinesiology and a certificate in gerontology. Her desire to work with clients from a holistic perspective has been a driving force throughout her life. Guiding others to connect with themselves: body, mind and soul came from a lifetime of creating this within herself.      Erica became certified as a life coach through Coach Training Alliance, and deepened her studies with a license, specialty-certification as a Mentor Coach and New Life Story ® Wellness Coach. This furthered her studies in neuroscience, strategic coaching and positive psychology. Combining these disciplines with her passion for keeping one's sensuality and sexuality integral to the whole person, Erica continues her mission to helping women become their most sexually confident selves.     Erica is a Californian currently living in Utah. She enjoys intimate conversations about sex, everything outdoors, dancing every single day, creating Haiku poetry and spending quality time with friends and family.    In this episode, you will hear:     A look at Erica’s journey to getting to her place of confidence   The pressure we feel to look a certain way to be sexy   How sexy is more about how you feel than how you look   How you can build your confidence to feel more sexier  Signs to look for if you’re struggling with low confidence   The importance of self-love and self-respect   How does a lack of confidence show up in the bedroom?      Find Erica Lemke-Pembroke Online   https://feelsexyagain.com     Dating Anxiety Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/dating-anxiety    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

20 Juli 202123min

Welcome to episode 238 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Guy Blaise to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss the cultural differences between dating in the US and France, looking at the issue of unsolicited dick picks and why paying more attention to your partner will get you better sex.      Guy Blaise is an author and Frenchman currently living in America. He lived in Eastern France and Paris, where he witnessed the dating experiences of the strong women in his family and listened closely to the advice his grandmother routinely gave them about love.     After two decades of living in America and struck by the differences between two cultures’ approaches to romance and sex, Guy started writing books offering his insights and started The French Perspective blog.     In this episode, you will hear:     The biggest differences between dating in the USA and France   Analyzing the cultural differences between dating in the USA and France   How we are living in a “Plenty of Fish / Tinder” culture of dating   The social attitudes of men in the USA compared to France   Looking at the issue of unsolicited dick picks   The difference of how American women deal with dicks compared with women in France  How unsolicited dick picks can be red flags for not being good at consent   Looking at the differences between the way French men make love to women compared with American men   Why paying more attention to your partner will get you better sex   Understanding that sex doesn’t start and end in the bedroom   Knowing that no relationship is perfect and requires constant work to keep sex great   The importance of women taking agency of what they want         Find Guy Blaise Online   www.thefrenchperspective.com    Dating Anxiety Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/dating-anxiety    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

13 Juli 202127min

Welcome to episode 237 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Marissa Tunis to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss ways in which we can get closure from a breakup, analyzing what gaslighting is and how we can stop the cycle of repeating the same mistakes when it comes to relationships.    Dr. Marissa Tunis is a licensed psychologist, dating coach, and founder of Datefully, dating coaching based in psychology.  She is based in Los Angeles and sees clients across the country who are struggling with heartbreaks, dating anxiety and relationship issues.      She hosts a weekly live-streamed digital talk show on the Meet Me app, Live with Dr. Marissa, which addresses the topics of love, dating and mental health.      In this episode, you will hear:     How Dr. Marissa became interested in this line of work   Ways in which we can get closure from a breakup  How we can learn to heal after a very bitter breakup   How long should we wait after a breakup to start dating again?  Learning to take time for yourself after a breakup   The way in which a bitter breakup can lead to trauma   Analyzing what gaslighting is  The negative ripple effects that come from gaslighting   How many people don’t even know they are gaslighting   The importance of trusting your own judgments and gut feeling   Why do we keep making the same mistakes?  How we can stop the cycle of repeating the same mistakes         Find Dr. Marissa Tunis Online   https://www.datefully.com     Dating Anxiety Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/dating-anxiety    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio     Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

6 Juli 202130min