EP101 - When Sex Hurts by Dr. Holly Herman

Welcome to episode 303 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Debby Herbenick to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss choking during sex, analyzing the resources available in this area, and why communication is vital when engaging in choking.  Debby Herbenick is a tenured professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health and director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion.   For more than 20 years, she has dedicated her efforts to understanding how people experience their bodies and sexual lives.   Among her 190+ scientific publications, she has developed and validated measurement scales to assess genital self-image (which can be thought of as how people feel about their genitals), the quality of sexual experiences, and measures related to sexual pleasure.  #Mahsaamini  We stand in solidarity with every single Iranian protesting against the repression of women in Iran. No woman should be persecuted for choosing what to wear or standing up for her rights.    Mahsa Amini, 22, died on September 16, three days after falling into a coma following her arrest in Tehran by the morality police. Her death erupted protests across Iran and the World.  While many people lost their lives in the demonstrations, thousands of people were detained. The Iranian government wants to shut down the voice of these women by shutting down the internet.   Please be their voice by reposting the news using #Mahsaamini     In this episode, you will hear:   How Debby became interested in the topic of choking during sex Analyzing the research and resources available on choking  Understanding what it means to be safe How you can weigh your own safety against any risks  The way in which meme culture has affected choking  Why communication is vital when engaging in choking Looking out for things like skin color changes when choking  What Debby’s students think about choking   Find Debby Herbenick Online https://www.debbyherbenick.com  Foreplay Checklist https://exciting-builder-8729.ck.page/2690c062c9 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

11 Okt 202233min

Welcome to episode 302 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Terry Cralle, MS, RN, to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss how sleep affects sex, knowing when it’s poor sleep that’s affecting your sex life and how regular sex can help with better sleep.  Terry Cralle, MS, RN, is a Registered Nurse based in Washington, DC. She is certified in clinical sleep health and has co-authored two books on sleep; Snoozby and the Great Big Bedtime Battle (Rowe Publishing, 2015), the first nonfiction book directly messaging the benefits of sufficient sleep to young children and Sleeping Your Way to the Top (Sterling Publishing, 2016), the ultimate guide to success through sufficient sleep.    As the cofounder of a four-bed sleep disorders center and a nationally recognized sleep health and wellness consultant, educator, advisor and advocate, Terry’s work in the field of sleep medicine has spanned over 25 years. Terry is a certified professional in healthcare quality and holds bachelor’s degrees in Sociology and Nursing as well as a master’s degree in Healthcare Management.   She serves on the Start School Later Board of Directors and is a spokesperson for the Better Sleep Council. Terry works with a variety of organizations throughout the U.S. and Europe to promote sleep health and wellness.     In this episode, you will hear:   How does sleep affect sex? Knowing when it’s poor sleep that’s affecting our sex lives Overcoming being in survival mode through lack of sleep How regular sex can help with sleep The importance of investing in a good bed / mattress for sleep Understanding that sleeping apart doesn’t mean your relationship is in a bad place When is it appropriate to go for a sleep study? Recommendations for couples to improve sleep together How you can make sleep your me time   Find Terry Cralle Online https://www.terrycrallern.com   Sex Quiz For Women https://oasis2care.com/sexquiz   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audioAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

4 Okt 202235min

Welcome to episode 301 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Albert Wong back to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss the common mistakes couples in long term relationships make around sex, how you can listen to your body to know your needs and ways in which you can give compassionate feedback.  Dr. Albert Wong is the Director of the Trauma Certificate Program at Somatopia and and the former Director of Somatic Psychology at John F. Kennedy University.   A leading educator in the field of somatics, he trains students in somatic psychology, healing trauma, and the mind-body connection through his online platform, Somatopia, and maintains an online private practice centered around somatic psychology.     In this episode, you will hear:   What do people mean when they say, “my partner is bad in bed”? Common mistakes couples in long term relationships make around sex  The ingredients needed to improve a relationship  Recommendations for rituals you can incorporate into your relationship  How you can listen to your body to know your needs Understanding the importance of communication  The importance of being selfull Ways in which you can give compassionate feedback Analyzing the practicalities of feedback   We stand in solidarity with every single Iranian protesting against repression of women in Iran. No woman should be persecuted for choosing what to wear or standing up for her rights. To our Iranian sisters in Iran, we feel your courage, we hear your voices, I marvel at your fearlessness. You are not alone, we will amplify your voices. If you want to learn more about what is happening in Iran watch our IG live here.Find Dr. Albert Wong Online http://www.dralbertwong.com   Foreplay Checklist https://drmoali.clickfunnels.com/free-foreplay-checklist51618558  Amazon Gift Card Win a $100 Amazon Gift Card! Send a screenshot of your review to - drmoali@sexologypodcast.com or DM via Instagram.  Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

27 Sep 202247min

Welcome to episode 300 of the Sexology Podcast! Today is a special episode where Dr Nazanin Moali answers your questions around desire discrepancy, improving an unhealthy open relationship, overcoming performance challenges and how pornography can cause erectile dysfunction.   Dr. Moali also reflects hosting Sexology Podcast for five years and how the podcast has changed Dr. Moali as a clinician.     In this episode, you will hear:   Analyzing a desire discrepancy between a couple  Ways to manage differences in sexual drive between partners Understanding your baseline desire  Overcoming challenges of remaining present during sex The importance of mindfulness for better sex How you can use sensate focus touch  Create rituals before having sex  How you can seduce your partner in a way they like  Overcoming the challenges of open relationships Identifying the red flags of an unhealthy open relationship  The importance of creating co-consent for an open relationship  Understanding the need for your own privacy & boundaries  Looking at how pornography can cause erectile dysfunction  Does porn only affect erectile dysfunction when watched or can audio only porn do the same thing? Understanding that porn is not real life and is an unrealistic expectation of how your actual sex life will be  Managing your sexual fantasies alongside porn through masturbation  Reflecting on hosting Sexology Podcast for five years How the podcast has changed Dr. Moali as a clinician   Find Sexology Podcast Online https://sexologypodcast.com   Transformative Power of Sensate Focus https://sexologypodcast.com/2019/01/08/sensate-focus/   Amazon Gift Card Win a $100 Amazon Gift Card! Send a screenshot of your review to - drmoali@sexologypodcast.com or DM via Instagram.   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

20 Sep 202232min

Welcome to episode 299 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Stefani Goerlich back to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss how Stefani became interested in writing her book Praise for The Leather Couch, the misconceptions around dominance in the bedroom and how people get more turned on when there is consent.  Stefani holds a Masters in Social Work from Wayne State University, where she specialized in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She has over fifteen years’ experience in working with poly/kinky individuals, swingers, commercial sex workers, and child and adult survivors of sexual trauma including human trafficking.  Stefani has served as a guest lecturer on minority sexual communities at Northwestern University and is a frequent conference presenter on topics related to Kink Aware Practice and consent. An award winning author, she currently working on her second book entitled The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients.     In this episode, you will hear:   How Stefani became interested in writing her book Praise for The Leather Couch The misconceptions around dominance in the bedroom  Looking at dominance v domestic violence  Analyzing the consent issues in Fifty Shades of Grey  Looking at the different types of dominance, sadism, topping, BDSM, etc.  How do people discover what kind of dominance they like and don’t like  Understanding the importance of consent  How people get more turned on when there is consent  The importance of communication and clear understanding Find Stefani Goerlich Online https://www.stefanigoerlich.com  Foreplay Checklist https://exciting-builder-8729.ck.page/2690c062c9 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audioAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

13 Sep 202239min

Welcome to episode 298 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Nicoletta Heidegger to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss dealing with erotic conflict, exploring other relationship types such as polyamorous and figuring out when’s the right time to end a relationship.  Nicoletta Heidegger is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (#110256) and sexologist practicing in Los Angeles, California.   Nicoletta received her BA in Psychology from Stanford University, her MA in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University, and her Masters of Education in Human Sexuality from Widener University.    She sees therapy clients virtually and at her unique ranch office in Los Angeles, where she offers sex therapy, outdoor sessions, and Equine Facilitated (also called Equine Assisted) Psychotherapy and Learning. Nicoletta also creates weekly content via her growing hit show Sluts and Scholars: a sex positive, shame-free educational podcast.     In this episode, you will hear:   Dealing with erotic conflict  Discovering your partner likes something sexual you’re not interested in What to do when your partner reveals they have a fetish to you How to communicate if your partner revels a different sexual side to you Exploring other relationship types such as polyamorous  The different types of modality people can explore Looking at equine assisted therapy  What we can learn from equine assisted therapy Figuring out when’s the right time to end a relationship Find Nicoletta Heidegger Online https://www.slutsandscholars.com   101 Ways To Keep Your Relationship Hot https://sexologypodcast.com/subscribe/   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audioAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

6 Sep 202243min

Welcome to episode 297 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Tom Murray to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss the way in which over control gets in the way of great sex, understanding the issue of forced celibacy and exercises you can do to improve your sex life.  Dr. Tom Murray, author, international trainer, educator, and couples and sex therapist-supervisor, is a widely sought-after expert in sexuality and intimate relationships. For 20+ years, Murray has worked with everyday folks to embrace their weirdness, shed labels and shame, lean into anxiety, and build better and stronger relationships.   Murray has appeared in numerous venues, including the Huffington Post and The Daily Mail, as well as radio, television and podcasts, including the Practice of Being Seen and Shrink Rap Radio.   Murray directs A Path to Wellness Integrative Psychiatry. He authored Making Nice with Naughty: An intimacy guide for the rule-following, organized, perfectionist, practical, and color within the line types.     In this episode, you will hear:   How Tom became interested in this subject area The way in which over control gets in the way of great sex Why sex needs mystery The pressure we put on ourselves to be “Sexually perfect” Recommendations for dealing with an over developed desire to control things Analyzing the monogamous agreement Understanding the issue of forced celibacy The pleasures of mutual masturbation Looking the issues around the “Neutral Face” How you can learn to better show your emotions Exercises you can do to improve your sex life  Find Dr. Tom Murray Online https://drtommurray.com  Foreplay Checklist https://exciting-builder-8729.ck.page/2690c062c9 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

30 Aug 202240min

Welcome to episode 296 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Mary Jo Rapini to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss the difference between intimacy and sex, analyzing intellectual intimacy and how you can gain better access to your emotions.  Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist specializing in intimacy, sex and relationships. She lives in Houston, Texas and maintains a private practice as a relationship, intimacy/sex psychotherapist.   Rapini is a renowned lecturer, author and television personality. Currently, you can find Mary Jo on Fox 26 Houston with her segment on healthy relationships on Mondays and “Ask Mary Jo” on Thursdays. She has been a contributor on air for CNN’s Prime News and has been on CBS Up to the Minute, Fox National Morning News, Montel, Steve Harvey, the Today Show and Dateline.    Rapini contributes and writes a love/relationship expert page for Your Tango. She also contributes to magazines including Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Playboy, First, Seventeen, Teen, Redbook and Self. She has written for Huffington Post and the New York Times.   Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal, and a co-author of Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever and Re-Coupling; a Couple’s 4 Step Guide to Greater Intimacy and Better Sex.     In this episode, you will hear:   Looking at the difference between intimacy and sex Understanding the different types of intimacy  How you can gain better access to your emotions The importance of not rushing to find solutions if you’ve been emotionally hurt  Analyzing intellectual intimacy  How you can manage different religious and political beliefs in a relationship  The difference between physical and sexual intimacy  How men and women engage differently with intimacy Thank you to our Sponsor: Cozy Earth! Use code ‘Sexology’ for 40% off. https://cozyearth.com  Find Mary Jo Rapini Online https://www.maryjorapini.com  Foreplay Checklist https://exciting-builder-8729.ck.page/2690c062c9 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

23 Aug 202237min