EP209 - Orgasms: You Can Have One, Too! with Dr. Yekaterina Bakhta

Welcome to episode 114 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Emily Nagoski to the podcast. In this conversation, Emily speaks to me about orgasms, the contributing factors that lead to more intense orgasms, achieving orgasm through meditation and thoughts on G-spots.     Emily Nagoski is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestseller, Come As You Are: the surprising new science that will transform your sex life and The Come As You Are Workbook, and co-author, with her sister Amelia, of Burnout: the secret to unlocking the stress cycle.     She began her work as a sex educator at the University of Delaware, where volunteered as a peer sex educator while studying psychology with minors in cognitive science and philosophy. She went on to earn a M.S. in Counseling and a Ph.D. in Health Behavior, both from Indiana University, with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute. Now she combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies.    In this episode, you will hear:     How do you know if you’ve had an orgasm?   How all orgasms are unique and different to each other   The contributing factors to more intense orgasms   Understanding that sometimes orgasms can take work and patience   Not letting past negative sexual experiences define your future experiences   Achieving orgasm through meditation   Thoughts on G-spots   The pressure of sex just becoming a performance   How the orgasm gap is less for lesbian women Bonus episode: https://oasis2care.com/bonus-depression-sex/   Resources  http://www.emilynagoski.com   https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio       Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

12 Mars 201939min

Welcome to episode 113 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Cheryl Fraser to the podcast. In this conversation, Dr. Cheryl speaks to me about keeping passion alive through long term relationships, recommendations for recreating thrill and excitement and approaching your partner with sexual ideas that might be considered taboo.     Dr. Cheryl Fraser is an award-winning sex therapist, and a Fulbright scholar who created the Become Passion home study series and the Awakened Lover weekend intensive for couples. She has a private practice in sex and couples' therapy. Personally, and professionally, Dr. Cheryl has confronted the intense, joyful, and painful emotions of relationships, from I Do to divorce, and on to Mindful Loving. This human touch makes her writing, workshops, and media appearances on sex and relationships so accessible and effective.     Dr. Cheryl completed her post-doctoral training at the University of California-San Francisco medical school. She conducted research on sexual behaviour and attitudes, and combatting homophobia. She has also taught college and university, and keeps a busy private practice, where she specializes in sex and couples' therapy. She is a certified Gottman marriage therapist.     She teaches weekend intensive “bootcamps” for couples, and her Become Passion home study program teaches couples how to create sustainable, lifelong emotional intimacy and sexual passion.    In this episode, you will hear:     Is it possible to keep passion alive in a long term relationship?  The three steps Dr. Cheryl recommends for keeping passion alive   Why scheduling sex can seem boring but also an important tool to use   Understanding that your relationship needs energy and focus to keep it passionate   How there is a time limit to the “honeymoon” period and what to do afterwards   Learning to resolve conflicts in a healthy way   Recommendations for recreating thrill and passion   Approaching your partner with sexual ideas that might be considered taboo    Resources  http://www.drcherylfraser.com     https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

5 Mars 201943min

Welcome to episode 112 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Martha Kauppi, LMFT to the podcast. In this conversation, Martha speaks to me about polyamorous relationships, the common misconceptions people have around polyamory, how therapists can work with polyamory from a differentiation perspective?    Martha Kauppi, LMFT, is an educator, AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, and AAMFT-approved supervisor. She specializes in relational sex therapy, including alternative family structures, and trains therapists to work effectively at the intersection of sex issues and relationship challenges.     Martha’s mission is to make sex a safe topic in therapy rooms everywhere by developing unique educational experiences and immediately-applicable learning materials for therapists.    In this episode, you will hear:     The alternative relationship structures Martha has worked with   How she became interested in polyamory   The challenges people face in polyamorous relationships   How Martha’s research showed polyamorous relationships can last for 26 years   The sense of community and support polyamory can provide   The common misconceptions people have around polyamory   How not every polyamorous relationship is sexual   The fear and intimidation people still face around this issue   The role that jealousy can play in polyamory   How therapists can work with polyamory from a differentiation perspective?      Resources  https://instituteforrelationalintimacy.com  http://www.sexologypodcast.com/2018/06/12/ep75-polyamory-and-finding-loves/ https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

26 Feb 201939min

Welcome to episode 111 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Lourdes Viado to the podcast. In this conversation, Dr. Viado speaks to me about open relationships, how they work, the essential tools you’ll need to navigate this path and why some people will go back to monogamy after an open relationship.   Dr. Lourdes Viado is a depth psychologist, providing psychotherapy for adults in her private practice in Las Vegas NV, as well as mentorship and consulting services to clients world-wide.    She is a Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator (MBTI) Certified Practioner and uses a Jungian approach in her work with clients, integrating mindfulness, dream work, shadow work, metaphor, literature, poetry and astrology in her work with clients  She is also the host of the top-rated Women In-Depth Podcast: Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women, which has been downloaded over 225,000x in 96 countries and 6 continents.    In this episode, you will hear:     The different types of open relationships   How open relationships are more common than most people realise   What does the fidelity agreement look like?  Questions you should ask yourself before considering opening up your relationship   Understand and process the reasons why you want to open up your relationship   How for some the idea of an open relationship is better than the reality of one  How there is no right or wrong to come to an agreement on an open relationship, each one is entirely unique   The essential tools you’ll need to navigate this path   The importance of open communication and not going down the path of not wanting to know what your partner may or may not be doing  Why some people will go back to monogamy after an open relationship    Resources  Women In-Depth Podcast  www.lourdesviado.com   https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

19 Feb 201931min

Welcome to episode 110 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Janet Brito to the podcast. In this conversation, Dr. Brito speaks to me about why people fake orgasms, the reasons for doing so and ways to break through this issue and have better sex.     Dr. Janet Brito is an AASECT-certified sex therapist who also has a license in clinical psychology and social work. She is a graduate of Pacifica Graduate Institute and completed her postdoctoral fellowship from the University of Minnesota Medical School, one of only a few university programs in the world dedicated to sexuality training. Currently, she’s based in Honolulu, Hawaii and is the founder of the Center for Sexual and Reproductive Health, where she specializes in the areas of relationship and sex therapy, out of control sexual behavior, and gender and sexually diverse populations.      Dr. Brito has been featured on many outlets, including The Huffington Post, Playboy, Healthline, Women’s Health Magazine, Thrive Global, and Midweek Publications. Her dissertation A phenomenological analysis on infertility in Mexican women living in the United States was recently published in the Revista Interamericana de Psicologia/Interamerican Journal of Psychology.     In this episode, you will hear:     How common is it for people to fake orgasms?   The reasons why someone might fake an orgasm?  The influence that pornography has had on our sexual expectations   Why pornography is not a good resource to shape your sexual template   The need for more stimulation and foreplay to achieve better sex   Why there is no right or wrong way of having sex   Learning to be attentive and focus on your partners needs and desires   Be open and honest with your partner so you can communicate effectively around this issue   Why orgasms can be inconsistent and unreliable   How men are more able to compartmentalize relationship issues from sex     Resources  http://sextherapyhawaii.com  https://www.instagram.com/drjanetbrito   https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

12 Feb 201933min

Welcome to episode 109 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Shannon McHenry, LMFT to the podcast. In this conversation, Shannon speaks to me about working with trauma and sexual assault victims, the challenges that sexual assault victims have with their sexuality and how partners can support their loved ones through this process.    Shannon McHenry, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty focus in childhood trauma, rape and battering, and PTSD. She is a trauma therapist in Los Angeles and works with clients in her offices in Los Feliz and Torrance.     Combining clinical experience with a passion to support women in repairing their relationships with themselves and others, she has supported many to create a long-lasting recovery from destructive behaviors. Call Shannon today to book your first appointment.    If you are struggling with recovery and would like to know more about Shannon’s services, contact her today for a free consultation.    In this episode, you will hear:     How Shannon became interested in working with trauma   The challenges that sexual assault victims have with their sexuality   Physiological responses from trauma survivors  Why victims of sexual might blame themselves and not seek the help they need   How the idea of revealing clothing being the root cause of sexual assaults undermines men’s sophistication and levels of control   The way in which alcohol and other substances can be used as an excuse for sexual assault  Understanding that consenting to one form of sexual interaction doesn’t by default also mean consenting sexual intercourse   What does sex look like for victims in the long term?  How partners can support their loved ones through this process     Resources  https://oasis2care.com/trauma-therapist-torrance/ https://oasis2care.com/trauma/codependency-and-trauma   https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

5 Feb 201931min

Welcome to episode 108 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome back Dr. Patti Britton who speaks to me this time about toxic shame; why are there so many people struggling with this issue? The methods she uses to help overcome toxic shame and working towards sexual self-realization.     Dr. Patti Britton is a Clinical Sexologist, Sexuality Educator and the Pioneer of Sex Coaching with top level credentials.  As a well-respected world leader in sexology, she is an academic, author of 5 books, popular speaker, trainer and workshop leader, and host of over 40 DVDs for couples’ sexual enhancement.     She is a frequent guest on expert summits, national television shows, documentaries, live talk and news radio, and is quoted in magazines, such as Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Women’s Health.  She has a private practice in Los Angeles area and via Skype globally.     Dr. Patti is the Co-Founder of SexCoachU - the world’s premier credentialing and training organization for sex coaching with students in 65 countries and live training events in Europe and USA. With her late partner, Robert Dunlap, she hosted ground-breaking weekly radio podcasts on happy aging, which are archived at https://theboomdoctors.com    In this episode, you will hear:     Why are so many people struggling with sexual shame?  How many people have leftover issues from childhood around this issue   Methods and ways Dr. Patti uses to help remove toxic shame   The importance of focusing on both the psychological and physiological aspects of sexual shame   How toxic shame is systemic and endemic   The benefits of SAR training - Sexual Attitude Reassessment and Restructuring  The stigma and shame that still surrounds alternative sexualities   Working towards sexual self-realization       Resources  https://sexcoachu.com   https://dppattibritton.com     Episode 14 with Dr. Patti - http://www.sexologypodcast.com/2017/04/11/sexual-empowerment-with-dr-patti-britton/     https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

29 Jan 201939min

Welcome to episode 107 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am very excited to have returning to the podcast Wendy Maltz, LCSW, DST. Wendy was my guest on episode 35 and joins me again to speak to me about porn addiction, the consequences of using porn compulsively, how mindfulness and yoga can help with recovery and sexually reconnecting with your partner after porn addiction.   Wendy Maltz, LCSW, DST, is an internationally recognized sex therapist, author, and speaker, with more than thirty-five years of experience treating sex and intimacy concerns. She is the coauthor, with her husband Larry Maltz of The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography. Wendy is also author of the recovery classic The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse, coauthor of Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women’s Sexual Fantasies, and the editor of two poetry anthologies that celebrate healthy sexual intimacy. Wendy’s popular educational website, www.HealthySex.com, provides free articles, podcast interviews, posters, videos, and more to help people overcome sexual problems and develop skills for love-based sexual intimacy.   In this episode, you will hear:     Is porn usage problematic?  The consequences of using porn compulsively   How we weren’t ready as a society for the amount of porn the internet provided  How between 8-15% of people who use porn will go on to develop a problem with it  Steps that can be taken to deal with unhealthy porn use  Recovering from porn addiction   Hearing how a listener’s husband went through the process of recovery  Ongoing side effects; E.G - Not being able to have sex without images of porn  How mindfulness and yoga can help with recovery   Sexually reconnecting with your partner after porn addiction       Resources  http://www.HealthySex.com    https://www.amazon.com/Porn-Trap-Essential-Overcoming-Pornography/dp/0061231878  https://www.amazon.com/The-Sexual-Healing-Journey-Survivors/dp/0062130730   https://www.amazon.com/Private-Thoughts-Exploring-Womens-Fantasies-ebook/dp/B00A8SKN6K     Episode 35 - http://www.sexologypodcast.com/2017/09/05/healing-from-sexual-assault-with-wendy-maltz-lcsw/     https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

22 Jan 201948min