How Not to Screw Up Your Kids21 Juli 2025

"I'm Rubbish at Everything!": 5 Steps to Handle Your Child's Self-Criticism

What do you do when your child says "Everyone hates me," "I'm rubbish at everything," or "I'm a loser"?

In this bucket-emptying episode, I share exactly how to respond in the moment when your child is being self-critical.

I'll walk you through my 5-step approach to handle these heartbreaking moments without dismissing their feelings or being overly positive. You'll learn why that internal dialogue matters so much, how to validate their experience while offering a more realistic perspective, and my powerful "pause and reframe" technique that helps children catch themselves before negative self-talk becomes hardwired.

This is about what to do RIGHT NOW when these comments happen - not the long-term strategies (that's coming in a full Thursday episode). Whether your child occasionally has these moments or this has become a pattern, these techniques will help you respond in a way that actually helps rather than accidentally making things worse.

Remember: self-criticism reflects their internal monologue, and with the right approach, we can help them develop a healthier inner voice. Their brains are incredibly plastic - we have time to turn this around.

Key topics covered:

Understanding your child's internal dialogue and self-talk
The 5-step response framework for self-critical moments
Why validation comes before correction
Teaching the "pause and reframe" technique
How to model healthy self-talk as a parent

This episode is perfect for parents dealing with children who struggle with self-esteem, negative self-talk, or perfectionism.

So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…

Highlights from this episode:

01:35 - What is self talk?

03:50 - Validate your child’s feelings

05:55 - Offer a realistic alternative

08:30 - Pause and reframe

11:56 - Rome wasn’t built in a day

💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 - https://onemillionmoments.org/

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DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

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