BACH UNCUT - Double dose, friend zoned and farewell to our favourite horny bogan

Another week of the Kinky Captain gracing our screens and we’ve been delivered a smörgåsbord board of (albeit less horny) goodness. Ep 7 kicks off with Jimmy gushing over his motorbike and the girls pretending like they’re interested in it. Lily is invited to take a ride to a secluded beach where Jimmy’s grandma had three heart attacks (we’re not kidding). It’s also the perfect spot to learn how to surf and make out.

Meanwhile back at the mansion, Jimmy’s sister and cousin are joining the girls for dinner. But instead of dessert, they’ve brought an honesty box. Holly ends up getting thrown under the honest box bus as she’s accused of being two faced and fake. DRAMAAAAAAA!

Ep 8 kicks off with Carlie receiving her first single dates at one of Sydney’s most romantic venues - Western Sydney Uni. They avoid any games of beer-pong and zipline into each other's mouths… oh, and there’s also a champagne tower and a fluorescent hula hooper because, Bachelor! Sticking with the educational theme, the group date was at an old high school where the girls enjoyed a debating competition, poison ball and a prom night, which was actually a rose ceremony in disguise (Osher you evil bastard).

So this is the episode of Bach that never ends because now we have our beloved Laura on an Italian themed date and we’re sorry to say it was a total disaster. Like pineapple on a pizza type disaster! They cooked pasta, it turned out awful. She leant it for a kiss, it was as successful as the pasta. Just when you thought it was game over for Laura, Jimmy convinces her to stay (we’re still trying to figure this one out). The group date was speed dating with 5 of the girl’s mums. Sadly, none of the mothers received roses or a kiss and they were all sent home. There was also a two second game of tennis with Jay at the Bach mansion where she addressed rumours that she didn’t want to have kids (she confirmed she wants all the babies).

Shout out to all the women who left the mansion this week, but special mention must go to the one and only Sierah... WE STAN !

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