#5 of The Dark Feminine Series: Reckoning. On Energetic Consent & Integrating the Sentient Savage

I feared being ostricized, cancelled, dejected, and misunderstood.

I feared being in service ‘wrong’ and falling from grace.

I felt incapable of the discernment and responsibility that was required to land in my energy body more deeply.

I was sick of being so afraid of being afraid of my own power.

I spilled a lot of energy here trying to distract myself from acknowledging the places where I didn’t have availability yet to be undone.

The Deep Feminine asks you to Sit with the dismantling. She is the mother of Yin. She unravels a little thread. You open. She works it out. And then another and another.

She teaches you to cultivate compassion instead of resistance as you witness and accept the need to play out all your patterns, to temper the intensity of the emotional charge, and stay with yourself as the intensity lessens slowly over time.

When you can’t imagine letting go any more, she asks for your surrender, so that she can free up the trapped energy resin at the bottom of the barrel, in the light of your awareness, and open to you with her full power.

I let her crack me open. With the mighty force of water that carves stone.

I became the steam that fumes from hot volcanic rock, uprising.

And I erupted.

In primal, fireball breathing Rage.

Burn. The Entitlement. Rise, The Confident Humility.

Burn. The Savior / Messiah Complex. Rise, The Self Empowered.

Burn. The Abuse of Sexual Energy. Rise, The Vitally Nourished.

Burn. The love and light facade. Rise, the love and the light.

Compassionate reverence for the darkest aspects of my being.

The opening.

….

This episode recounts my experience owning my worth and clearing my channel.

I felt like an orphan horse boy learning how to love and revere a sentient savage wild mare.

In service to her unbridled power.