Are You Protecting a Relationship That Isn’t Real?

Here’s something that might sting a little. If you are constantly making excuses for someone’s behavior, you may be in love with your idea of them, not the actual person. In this episode of Be Unmessablewith the podcast, I’m talking about the subtle but exhausting habit of protecting relationships that are not real. Not just romantic relationships, but friendships, work dynamics, and family relationships where you are hiding parts of who you are in the name of keeping the peace.

When you hide yourself, it can feel like you are protecting the relationship, but what you are really doing is watering plastic plants. No matter how much energy, care, or love you pour in, they will never grow. I’ve worked with high achievers for decades who look wildly successful on the outside, but feel disconnected and lonely in their relationships. Control, perfectionism, and people pleasing may help you succeed professionally, but they quietly destroy intimacy. Performance is not connection. Pretending is exhausting. And the exhaustion does not come from work. It comes from hiding.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How hiding parts of yourself creates the illusion of intimacy without real connection

• Why making excuses for others is often protecting a fantasy, not a relationship

• How social media trains us to mistake performance for closeness

• What happens when you stop hiding and start showing up honestly

Real relationships do not require decoding, defending, or constant excuse making. They are clear, consistent, and reciprocal. The moment you stop watering plastic plants and start telling the truth, you give others permission to do the same. Connection does not come from perfection. It comes from presence. The question is not whether authenticity matters. The question is whether you are ready to stop protecting what is not real and start cultivating what actually is.

Connect With Josselyne

Website: beunmessablewith.com

Instagram: @beunmessablewith