#228: When You Want More Words of Affirmation — But Don’t Want to Ask (Ask Steph)

#228: When You Want More Words of Affirmation — But Don’t Want to Ask (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question about wanting more words of affirmation from a partner — but not wanting to feel like you're constantly asking for it.

This is a really common tension, especially for people with anxious attachment. On one hand, words of affirmation genuinely matter. On the other, asking for them can feel exposing, needy, or like you’re trying to force something that should come naturally.

In this episode, I unpack why this dynamic is rarely about someone “withholding” affection, and how the way we ask (or don’t ask) can either make it feel safer or riskier for our partner to express verbally.

Rather than offering scripts or communication hacks, this conversation focuses on the deeper relational pieces that often get missed — including how we receive affirmation, how defensiveness shuts down vulnerability, and what it means to take responsibility for your needs without self-abandoning.

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Avsnitt(278)

#278: How to Navigate Being Triggered by a Partner's Moodiness

#278: How to Navigate Being Triggered by a Partner's Moodiness

In today's Ask Steph episode, I'm answering the listener question of "How do I navigate being triggered by my partner's moodiness and irritability?" This is such a common pain point for folks with anx...

18 Aug 10min

#277: What to Look For in a Long-Term Partner

#277: What to Look For in a Long-Term Partner

Choosing who you're going to commit to is a life-altering decision — so it's little wonder so many of us feel the weight of that pressure, and experience doubt around whether we're making the "right" ...

13 Aug 13min

#276: Attachment & Conflict (Part 4): Repairing After Relationship Rupture

#276: Attachment & Conflict (Part 4): Repairing After Relationship Rupture

Learning to repair after conflict or ruptures is one of the most valuable relationship skills you'll ever have. But for many of us, meaningful repair isn't something we ever really learned or had mode...

4 Aug 22min

#275: Why You Can't Get Over Your Ex

#275: Why You Can't Get Over Your Ex

In today's episode, we're talking about why you struggle to "get over" your ex. This is something so many people struggle with when it comes to break-ups — feeling like the person who left us still oc...

30 Juli 22min

#274: Attachment & Conflict (Part 3): How to Experience Healthier Conflict

#274: Attachment & Conflict (Part 3): How to Experience Healthier Conflict

Join the Secure Self Challenge hereToday's episode is part 3 of my Attachment & Conflict series, and we're talking all about how to transform the way you do conflict. I'll be sharing general tips and ...

21 Juli 32min

#273: Attachment & Conflict (Part 2): Avoidant Attachment

#273: Attachment & Conflict (Part 2): Avoidant Attachment

Register for the Secure Self Challenge hereIn today's episode, we're talking once again about how attachment patterns shape our experience of conflict in relationships, with a particular focus on avoi...

16 Juli 24min

#272: How to Talk to Your Partner About Their Avoidant Attachment (Ask Steph)

#272: How to Talk to Your Partner About Their Avoidant Attachment (Ask Steph)

Access the replay for the Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviour workshopIn today's Ask Steph episode, I'm answering the question of: "How do I talk to my partner about their avoidant attachment without...

9 Juli 10min

#271: Fearful Avoidant Attachment: Guidance for Partners (Part 4)

#271: Fearful Avoidant Attachment: Guidance for Partners (Part 4)

Last chance to register for the free Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviour workshopToday's episode is the fourth and final instalment of my deep dive series into fearful avoidant attachment, and this e...

7 Juli 23min

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