246. "We’re drowning in debt, but bought another house"

246. "We’re drowning in debt, but bought another house"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Melissa and Tony, a couple who immigrated from Mexico with big dreams and an even bigger work ethic. In less than a decade, they've built a net worth of nearly $900,000. But beneath the surface of their impressive paper wealth, they’re carrying almost $1 million in debt and are completely misaligned on their financial goals. With their second child due any day, Ramit helps them uncover the root of their money woes, from differing money styles to the profound impact of their upbringing. Can they finally get on the same page, create a financial system that works, and build a sustainable rich life? In this episode we uncover: • How Melissa and Tony built a nearly $900K net worth in 8 years • The "rollercoaster" of their financial decision-making • Why their credit card debt is actually due to real estate • Tony’s “paycheck to paycheck” feeling with a $189k household income • Melissa’s childhood money lessons from her dad, Mr. No • How they navigate financial planning with a baby due this month • Why they avoid combining their high incomes • The cultural influences shaping their financial narratives • What happens when Tony is “comfortable” and avoids change • The deeper reasons behind their ongoing money disagreements • Ramit’s advice on how to communicate about money effectively • A surprising agreement that might change their future Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:02:28) Their chaotic financial situation (00:07:07) Melissa and Tony’s real estate struggles (00:13:07) Melissa's real estate ambitions vs. Tony’s pessimism (00:20:58) The cycles of making and losing money (00:26:59) The ineffective communication about debt (00:33:57) The danger of making emotional money decisions (00:37:35) Diving deep into their income and debt (00:46:01) Their unspoken rules about money and spending (00:51:56) The painful truth behind being "house poor" (01:00:43) Impact of childhood money lessons on their current finances (01:10:29) The parent-child dynamic in their financial relationship This episode is brought to you by: Superhuman | Turn your inbox into momentum. Sign up at https://superhuman.com/ramit. ZocDoc | Go to https://zocdoc.com/ramit to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 10% off plus free shipping Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: https://iwt.com/apply

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119. “He’s not ready for marriage. So why did we buy a house together?”

119. “He’s not ready for marriage. So why did we buy a house together?”

Candace and Brad are 31 and 33. They’ve been together for five years—buying a home together after just one year of dating. Candace is ready for a wedding, kids, and family life; she’s getting impatien...

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118. “Before kids, I made $20k/month. Now he wants me to be a housewife” (Part 2)

118. “Before kids, I made $20k/month. Now he wants me to be a housewife” (Part 2)

In part two of my conversation with Kara and Drake, we continue to peel back the layers of gender roles and lost identity which came to the surface last week. A reversal in earnings power, on top of i...

22 Aug 20231h 11min

117. “He earned $17k last month—but it's not enough” (Part 1)

117. “He earned $17k last month—but it's not enough” (Part 1)

Kara and Drake are 38 and 37 with two infant children. Kara used to earn as much as $20k in a month, but has pulled back on work since becoming a mother—leading to painful identity issues. Drake has p...

15 Aug 202356min

116. “She manages the money. I ignore it. What’s the problem?”

116. “She manages the money. I ignore it. What’s the problem?”

Carrie and Taylor are both 33, unmarried with no kids, earning good incomes in the Nashville area. Their CSP checks out—Carrie does a great job managing their money—but she’s no longer willing to do i...

8 Aug 20231h 14min

115. “We’ve fought about money for 29 years. Is it time for divorce?”

115. “We’ve fought about money for 29 years. Is it time for divorce?”

Kevin and Ebony are both 52. They have two kids, both young adults, and have turned their attention to retirement planning. But standing in the way are $135,000 of debt, a recurring issue, and 29 year...

1 Aug 20231h 16min

114. “Why did we spend $40K on trips we can't afford?”

114. “Why did we spend $40K on trips we can't afford?”

Emily and John are in their mid 30s, living in Boston with their 2 year old son. Both coming from blue collar backgrounds, they’ve successfully broken many negative generational patterns thanks to a $...

25 Juli 20231h 11min

113. “I feel like the parent in our marriage. And I hate it”

113. “I feel like the parent in our marriage. And I hate it”

Nicole and Matt, 41 and 37, have weathered deaths in the family, a battle with alcoholism, and career difficulties to finally be on the right track and earning more income as a couple. But, the past h...

18 Juli 20231h 2min

112. “I pretend I want to change. But I refuse to do anything different”

112. “I pretend I want to change. But I refuse to do anything different”

This conversation with Mike and Kate brings a completely new, and shocking, outcome to the podcast. They’re 29 and 32, with some massive life changes on the horizon. But they can’t save any money and ...

11 Juli 20231h 1min

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