What To Do When Your Partner is Still Defensive

In this episode, the hosts explore the emotional complexity of being vulnerable in relationships and not receiving the supportive response we hope for. When partners often respond in protective ways—like shutting down or snapping back—can feel frustrating and disheartening—especially when you’re trying to be vulnerable and connect. Understanding what’s happening under the surface of that defensiveness and learning how to respond can completely shift the dynamic between you and your partner. Listen to today’s show to learn how to stay grounded, break negative cycles, and build true emotional safety—even when your partner is still reactive. In this episode of Relationship Advice, we discuss relationship topics such as: Protective Responses How To Avoid Being “Baited” Into Reactivity Tools To Stay In Vulnerability/Curiosity When You Partner Shuts Down Internal vs. External Control Tuning Into Your Window of Tolerance How To Build Lasting Safety In Relationships and much more! Give Me Discounts! Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices