baddie book club: rejecting perfection, break-ups, gap year, failure & success

Recording of the second discussion group for part 1 of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden ~ Baddie Book Club! We discuss reflecting on times where we've noticed we've had low self-esteem, dealing with uncertainty that comes with transition periods after break-ups and during gap years, having self-compassion for your former self, how to integrate "failure" into our definition of success and more!

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The Six Pillars of Self Esteem (affiliate link*) https://amzn.to/496J0SD

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The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exercises https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completion

00:00

01:30 - knowing you deserve to be happy/ dealing with triggers

02:46 - integration vs healing

04:32 - distinction between mind and body, managing over-thinking

05:52 - being ok with not knowing

06:35 - whimsy and rejecting perfection

07:34 - illusion that everything has to be ‘good’

08:20 - how low-self esteem translates into how you live your life - gap year: freedom vs uncertainty

09:15 - absence of community after school

10:16 - enjoying who you are as a person

11:25 - dance & yoga

14:57 - work and self-worth

17:05 - protecting and prioritising joy

19:40 - self-esteem and love, not feeling loveable

22:13 - people with high self-esteem do not stay with partners who don’t treat them well

24:08 - self-esteem and knowing you don’t have to tolerate poor treatment

24:45 - childhood experiences that condition us to accept or normalise poor treatment

25:40 - remembering when you were able to walk away

26:49 - doing the best with the information you had at the time

27:00 - the illusion of “this time will be different”

27:27 - processing breakups

28:10 - self-compassion for your former self

29:58 - you are not alone

30:40 - looking forward to an abundant life

31:44 - accepting accountability - seeing dynamics as neutral and avoiding fixation on context

33:14 - distinguishing accountability from blame

34:20 - how time changes your perspective - one day it will mean something different

35:38 - “failure” is part of success

36:55 - how you learn and integrate “failure”

37:20 - self efficacy and self respect

38:10 - being to see your progress and improvement

39:12 - knowing when to get off the wrong train

41:08 - you never fail, you win or you learn

41:28 - unquantifiable success and growth

43:00 - relationship with time, responsibility and purpose - being present

45:14 - being on the hamster wheel

45:20 - delayed gratification, pushing yourself vs punishing yourself

49:55 - your relationship to your circumstances

51:11 - the immune system of consciousness