Episode 77: From Addiction Counselor to Fisting Top: Grayson Howell on Confidence, Kink, and Chicago’s Scene

In Episode 77 of Brolapse, Ryan James (HungerFF) sits down with Chicago-based creator Grayson Howell to talk about the unexpected path that led him into content creation, kink culture, and the world of fisting.

What starts as a conversation about a viral scene with Wyld Rider quickly turns into something deeper. Grayson opens up about his past working as an LGBTQ addiction counselor, the burnout that came with that career, and the moment he decided to finally take a leap and start posting adult content online.

Along the way, the two discuss body confidence, therapy, and how the bear community helped Grayson find a new sense of self. He also shares how experienced friends in Minneapolis guided him through his first fisting experience, turning what started as curiosity into a passion.

The conversation explores Chicago’s massive fetish ecosystem, long-running kink communities, IML, the rise of fisting culture in modern porn, and why mentorship and trust are central to the scene.

Grayson also breaks down his philosophy as a soft dom fisting top, including why training partners slowly, prioritizing chemistry, and emphasizing aftercare makes for the best experiences.

The result is an episode that is funny, thoughtful, and unexpectedly wholesome for a podcast about punching holes.

X (Twitter):

https://x.com/pupgrayson

BlueSky:

https://sweddybear.bsky.social

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/muleferdan

Linktree (OnlyFans, JustForFans, etc):

https://linktr.ee/sweddybear

Spotify

https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse

Apple Podcasts

https://apple.co/408WLLX

Amazon Music & Audible

https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/57bbf689-250a-4c96-8559-0a79805f18b6/hungerff-presents-brolapse

iHeartRadio

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-hungerff-presents-brolapse-290151273

🕗 New episodes drop every Friday at 8PM

🔥 Full video episodes available exclusively at

https://HungerFF.com

Spotify subscribers also get early video access as soon as editing is finished.

Order now:

https://www.hungerff.com/deeper

💎 Limited edition hardcover covers (still available):

https://www.hungerff.com/shop/deeper-hardcover-editions

Ryan is wearing the “Fisting Jesus: Sacred Sleaze Edition” tee in this episode.

Grab it here:

https://hungerff.threadless.com/designs/fisting-jesus-sacred-sleaze-edition

Ryan James is also releasing new music every week through the HungerFF Sound Initiative.

Listen here:

https://www.hungerff.com/music

🎙️ Brolapse is a podcast exploring sex, identity, kink culture, and the people shaping the community from the inside out.