29 - Offense vs. Defense - Communicating in Frustrating Moments

29 - Offense vs. Defense - Communicating in Frustrating Moments

In this episode Tarah and EJ asked their social media audience to provide statements that create conflict in their relationship. They take each of these statements and share ways to communicate them in a way that is more hearable to your partner. Often couples struggle to communicate there frustrations in a kind, loving and honest way. Their message which is lost in their delivery. A vulnerable or even loving desire for connection is completely obscured by their inability to express their feelings. Tarah and EJ attempt to normalize habitual patterns of communication that many couples struggle with.


Tarah and EJ also offer an at home program for Couples seeking to build a better relationship.


Relationship Renovation at Home is designed for couples facing struggles in their relationship and couples who want to strengthen their relationship. Relationship Renovation at home gives couples the tools to communicate in a healthier way and strengthen their intimate connection.


This program focuses on developing a deeper understanding of yourself, your partner, and your relationship. And by doing so, you will gain confidence in the resilience of your relationship.


Each of the 22 lessons has a video with Tarah and EJ discussing key concepts of relationship wellness that help you understand underlying dynamics and common obstacles that couples face. The videos prepare you and your partner to work through accompanying exercises that stimulate conversation where you build the trust, empathy, and understanding needed to achieve your relationship goals.


Relationship Renovation at home includes:

22 lessons structured approach to rebuilding your relationship

Exploration of underlying dynamics and common obstacles that couples face

Sequential exercises focused on deepening emotional and intimate connections

Access to a closed Facebook Group with 600+ couples sharing their experiences

Get direct access to E.J. and Tara’s Relationship Expertise


Purchase Relationship Renovation at Home

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Avsnitt(294)

When Initiating Sex Starts Feeling Like Pressure

When Initiating Sex Starts Feeling Like Pressure

What happens when reaching for your partner no longer feels safe?There was a period in our marriage when EJ stopped initiating sex completely.It wasn't punishment. It wasn't giving up. We made the dec...

21 Aug 27min

You Don’t Need a Date Night to Feel Connected

You Don’t Need a Date Night to Feel Connected

What if staying connected didn’t require another thing on your calendar?For busy couples, “date night” can start to feel like one more responsibility—find a babysitter, make a reservation, figure out ...

14 Aug 14min

The Resentment Wall: Why We Keep Pushing Each Other Away

The Resentment Wall: Why We Keep Pushing Each Other Away

What if resentment isn't the problem... but a form of protection?Most couples think resentment appears overnight. In reality, it forms one small hurt at a time—like adding another brick to a wall. At ...

7 Aug 29min

The Courtroom Trap: Why Healthy Conversations Shouldn't Feel Like a Trial

The Courtroom Trap: Why Healthy Conversations Shouldn't Feel Like a Trial

Have you ever tried explaining yourself, only to hear your partner say, "You're being defensive"?It happens in almost every relationship. One partner feels misunderstood. The other feels unheard. Befo...

31 Juli 19min

Why Small Arguments Become Big Fights: The Trigger Transfer Trap

Why Small Arguments Become Big Fights: The Trigger Transfer Trap

Have you ever found yourself in a heated argument with your partner and thought, "How did we get here so fast?"In this episode, EJ and Tarah unpack a real-life moment from their own marriage that star...

24 Juli 21min

Are You Loving Your Partner... Or Trying To Change Them?

Are You Loving Your Partner... Or Trying To Change Them?

When your partner is struggling, what do you do?Do you try to comfort them?Fix them?Pull them out of it?Or... are you actually trying to change their emotional state because their discomfort is making...

17 Juli 27min

Why Everything Feels Like Your Responsibility (The Hidden Belief That Was Quietly Running My Life)

Why Everything Feels Like Your Responsibility (The Hidden Belief That Was Quietly Running My Life)

Have you ever felt like you're carrying everything?Your family's emotions.Your marriage.Your business.Your finances.Your future.For years, EJ believed it was his job to hold everything together. The r...

10 Juli 28min

Why We Miss Each Other When We Need Each Other Most (And How to Repair)

Why We Miss Each Other When We Need Each Other Most (And How to Repair)

Two nights ago, we completely missed each other.It started with something ridiculously small—a late-night plate of food for our kids—but underneath it were exhaustion, old wounds, nervous systems in s...

3 Juli 26min

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