394. What is the pursuer-distancer relationship dynamic?

394. What is the pursuer-distancer relationship dynamic?

When one person tries to get closer to someone else, and the other person pulls away in response, they might be experiencing a pursuer-distancer dynamic. This can create a very painful cycle, where communication breaks down, each side blames the other, and ultimately, nobody has their needs met. In this episode, we explore the stages of a pursuer-distancer cycle, unpack why we’re drawn to relationships like this, and learn how to break the cycle so we can enjoy more happy, fulfilled relationships.

We explore:

  • What the pursuer-distancer dynamic looks like
  • The psychology of why romantic opposites ‘attract’
  • What’s going on in the mind or a pursuer and distancer
  • Pursuer-distancer burnout - and when the pursuer final quits...
  • How we can heal a pursuer-distancer cycle
  • Can pursuer-distancer dynamics work in our 20s?

A note that this episode contains content about abusive relationships.

Listen now!

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For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

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Avsnitt(463)

460. The psychology of 'good girl' syndrome

460. The psychology of 'good girl' syndrome

Many of us are conditioned to believe that being described as kind, nice, accommodating and generous are the key to overall happiness. But when these traits veer into Good Girl Syndrome, we can be lef...

21 Sep 44min

459. I'm so tired of being ambitious

459. I'm so tired of being ambitious

Ambition feels like my entire personality and I'm trying to fix that. Who are we beyond our ambition? In a world that only cares about success, output and productivity, what do we feel like we'll lose...

17 Sep 33min

458. Can embracing stress actually help us?

458. Can embracing stress actually help us?

Stress has a reputation for burning us out, torching our relationships and even causing our lives to end prematurely. But not all stress is created equal. In this episode, we explore the difference be...

14 Sep 36min

457. The psychology of 'false' memories

457. The psychology of 'false' memories

We treat our memories like a reliable recording of the past. We remember what happened, how we felt, where we were, and what was said. But what if our account is more like a subjective recollection of...

12 Sep 30min

456. Why does feeling sad sometimes feel so good?

456. Why does feeling sad sometimes feel so good?

Why does feeling sad sometimes feel... so good? Whether it’s putting on the saddest song you know, rewatching a movie that always makes you cry, indulging in a little self-pity or finally letting your...

10 Sep 31min

455. Why does time start flying in our 20s?

455. Why does time start flying in our 20s?

It’s a known fact that time moves faster as we get older, but what does this really mean, and can we slow it down? In this episode, we’re going to try to make sense of why flies as we enter our 20s - ...

7 Sep 41min

454. The oedipus complex

454. The oedipus complex

The Oedipus complex is one of Freud’s most renowned and shocking ideas. In this episode, we dive into the origins of the theory and whether anything really remains once its gendered assumptions and co...

6 Sep 31min

453. 7 facts you need to know about your brain

453. 7 facts you need to know about your brain

There are a surprising number of myths and misconceptions about the brain, particularly with regards to its development in our 20s. In this episode, we unpack a number of surprising facts and studies ...

3 Sep 49min

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