SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

It's pretty much a given that, at some point or another in swinging or polyamory, there will be boundary violations, safer sex failures, and other moments you'd talked about and thought about and made rules about. No matter how much hypothetical thought goes into it, though, often being confronted with these things in the real world can cause some serious "knocked on your ass" moments. Tonight we talk about how to process boundary violations, safer sex failures, and the importance of compassion throughout the process.

Dylan relayed his recent protection failure story, consisting of a condom sliding off during sex resulting in condomless ejaculation. While the story and the people involved were incredibly sexy, the mistakes made (delaying telling a partner, processing the failure as offense, lack of perspective on the risk of playing with others) resulted in an otherwise pleasant encounter into something to suffer through.

Cooper makes the point that something will happen over the course of a swinging lifetime, and that you should treat others how you'd want to be treated if you were the one who'd "screwed up" somehow, that compassion in necessary because everyone is hurting when there's no intent to harm.

The group moves into discussing "odd-man out" scenarios in which (usually) the male half of a couple who ends up not playing has a choice on whether to be mopey and whiny about it, or whether to enjoy his partner's pleasure and the atmosphere, and to potentially live to play again later in the night. Dylan once again relays a story of not taking his usual care to see the "odd-man out" partner before joining his wife in a threesome, and speaks of some real regret in not doing so after seeing a well meaning person hurting.


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While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Rich Edwards - For You (featuring Park Avenue)

Richard Caddock, WRLD, Nitro Fun, Slips & Slurs & Subtact - Break The Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Avsnitt(431)

SS 396: ...what sets us apart, brings us together. - Swingset Takes Desire 2022, Part 1

SS 396: ...what sets us apart, brings us together. - Swingset Takes Desire 2022, Part 1

Swingset is a place, at least that's how we think of it today. We created the Swingset Community for the tenth time at Desire Resort in Cancun, QR, MX, and gathered our attendees to listen to Keeley, Cooper, Ginger, Tonia, Ryan AKA The Professor, and Dylan get together and talk about the trip up until Friday and many… many other things. Set and Setting. The Tepid Tub! Indiana Cooper? Co-Creation. Indomnitable Joy. Consent Violation. Rupture Repair. Community Support Gloryholes. We talk about it all, in part one.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).     Intro Music: Sullivan King & Ray Volpe – The Dead March Outro Music: zensei ゼンセー – spadina 3am

22 Nov 202242min

SS 395: The Trouble with Tribbing, a Sexy Story Share

SS 395: The Trouble with Tribbing, a Sexy Story Share

Ginger, The Professor, Mike Joseph, Tonia, and Dylan get together for a Friday Night Delights recorded on June 25th to share some sexy stories and talk about growing relationships and sharing managing multiple identities, Also… big gong energy and tribbing.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Trans children and families are under attack in Texas right now. If you're able, consider donating to:

1 Nov 20221h 2min

SS 394: Camp Swingset Live! - At the Half-Baked Homestead

SS 394: Camp Swingset Live! - At the Half-Baked Homestead

Tonia and Dylan sat down at the Half-Baked Homestead, lovingly put together by Rapunzel, Colin, and Oengus, to talk about what Swingset gatherings mean (if anything) and what we try to do when we put temporary community together. Talk touches on current events – the attack on trans familities rights to exist, a post roe v. wade world, and community relations at their fracture points come up prominently… but talk about accepting and appreciating joy without apologizing for it, and the pleasure of being together, takes over… with commentary from a couple of dogs fighting over a stick. it's Camp Swingset, Live!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).      Trans children and families are under attack in Texas right now. If you're able, consider donating to:           Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: helloworld – see str8

1 Aug 20221h 1min

SS 393: Swingset Takes Desire 2021 LIVE in Cancún!

SS 393: Swingset Takes Desire 2021 LIVE in Cancún!

17 Mars 20221h 29min

SS 392: Personal Stories on Changing Intimacy Over the Last Two Years - A Friday Night Delights Conversation with Catherine

SS 392: Personal Stories on Changing Intimacy Over the Last Two Years - A Friday Night Delights Conversation with Catherine

We continue the conversation from SS 388: The Power of Witness in Relationship Therapy, by sliding into how intimacy has changed over the last couple of years. Dylan, Ryan, and Ginger continues to welcome Catherine of Expansive Connection while Tonia joins in on the fun! Also… more love for Gestalt therapy!     Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).     Trans children and families are under attack in Texas right now. If you're able, consider donating to:           Intro and Outro Music: Stendahl – Austrumi (Extended Mix)

2 Mars 202248min

SS 391: The Desire Mid-Week Check-In, featuring Co-Hosts Mike Joseph and Keeley!

SS 391: The Desire Mid-Week Check-In, featuring Co-Hosts Mike Joseph and Keeley!

We made it to Desire in 2021 and decided to take the temperature of the room… the very, very hot room that we couldn't turn the air conditioning on in because it would have ruined the recording environment. Cooper, Dylan, and Tonia along with guest co-hosts Mike Joseph and Keeley get together and check in with each other, and the attendees, and see what being in Desire in these trying times means to them.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro & Outro Music: Chime – Rainbow Rave Parade

1 Mars 202258min

SS 390: "Things can be messy, but things don't have to be toxic."

SS 390: "Things can be messy, but things don't have to be toxic."

With this episode, we emerge from our reduced pandemic release schedule where our focus was on virtual Swingset community events to connect and sustain us through challenging times, and refocus on the podcast. We invited Eve, Marissa, Celeste, Rose, and Melanie with an intimate conversation about navigating toxic relationships. We're grateful for these five courageous humans for sharing their stories and wisdom so that we can learn from their experiences. -Ginger Bentham -Dylan Thomas Listeners can learn more at itrippedonthepolystair.com. Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro Music: Throttle feat. NICOLOSI – Heroes (Skies Remix)

6 Juli 20211h 18min

SS 389: Nerdy Banter with Simone and Malcolm – The Pragmatist's Guide to Sexuality

SS 389: Nerdy Banter with Simone and Malcolm – The Pragmatist's Guide to Sexuality

Join Dylan, Ryan aka Prof, and Ginger in a nerdy discussion about sexuality data and human behavior. Simone and Malcolm Collins, the authors of The Pragmatist's Guide series, take to the Swingset to talk all manner of intriguing and confounding sexiness. Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro Music: Duumu and Meggie York – Never Had Interstitial Music: Nitro fun – System Failure Our Sportsheets Advertisements featured music from Poolhouse Ltd from their album: NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE! HOME COMPUTING – HOTLINE Internet Archive – O N L I N E pacintosh mlus – c r y s t a l p e p s i These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

1 Mars 20211h 30min

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