SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

Tonight the Swingset opens the mailbag... but does so carefully, as it's -20F outside. Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Bex Caputo, and Lunabelle answer your listener questions!

Question 1:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We have amazing sex, but I can't seem to get satisfied sexually. We have sex/oral sex at least twice a day, but it seems like the more I orgasm, the more I crave it. He's slightly below average size, and I don't have any problems with his size because he knows what to do with it, but he's very self-conscious about his size. I'd love to bring up the topic of polyamory to him, but I'm afraid he'll feel like I want to do it just to be with someone bigger. In fact, I'm 100% positive that is what he would think. I've always felt that I might be bisexual. I'm fascinated with being with a woman, but I don't know how he'll react. Of course, it's every guys fantasy to have a threesome, but because of his self-consciousness, I don't think he'd be interested. I won't lie, being with someone bigger is also a curiosity of mine. He has a phobia (?) of someone bigger changing the way my vagina feels to him, so even if he were interested in swinging, I don't think he'd want me to be with another man.

I love him very much, but I feel like there are a lot of things I want to experience and I'm not getting any younger (I'm 36). I don't want to break up over it, because I'm very happy with him, but I'd also like to see what his thoughts are about it. How can I bring it up in a subtle, non-threatening way that might make him more interested?

Question 2:

My spouse and I are considering divorce. We love each other so much, but 15 years of marriage has left it's scars. We both have other partners, and breaking up with them, or closing our relationship at all is not on the table. These relationships are long standing, and breaking up would hurt multiple people and breed resentment. Besides, the openness of our relationship is not the issue. Do you have any advice for maintaining secondary relationships while the primary is in trouble? How to maintain boundaries when your whole life is up in the air?

Hope that's not too long! I love your podcast, and I especially love listening to it at work, where everyone thinks I'm a sweet normal and slightly boring office manager.

Question 3:

We are always taught to think of ourselves as being sexy but we won't look at ourselves and imagine ourselves as being sexy individuals. One of the problems that I've seen recently is you look at profiles or even advertise it for things even the desire takeover is we talked a get-together of sexy people or people say we are looking for other sexy couples.

The man that couples look it up and see that she is a BBW or I am a short chunky guy we no longer fit that is sexy category and both know hurts her feelings hurt our feelings.

Why is it that BBW it's almost turned into a niche versus just a description of an individual? It's almost like you're not an individual you're a BBW so you don't fit into this category and I've seen this very very bad in the swingers world.

So my question would be for you all is have you seen this how open are you to BBWs in your opinion of BBWs and how suggestion would you make to BBWs to get themselves more confident comfortable and energetic about the lifestyle itself?

Lunabelle mentioned her post, "I Like Big Toys and I Cannot Lie".

Ginger mentioned the Unfuckwithable video.

Dylan mentioned Elle Chase's book, Curvy Girl Sex .

Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Avsnitt(431)

SS 144: The Ebb and Flow of Libido and its Effect on Swinging and Polyamory

SS 144: The Ebb and Flow of Libido and its Effect on Swinging and Polyamory

We all want to be "on". We carve out the time, spend some money, clean up the house, groom our fun areas, and make the arrangements with the people we want to see. Sometimes as "the time" gets closer we realize... we're not really up to the task, and while there's still a good time be had we may not be interested in sealing the deal. We discuss dry spells, lulls in desire, varying levels of intensity in interest, today... it's all about libido, how to deal with it when it wanes, and how to try to bring it back. Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14?  Contact us at sufferinsuccotash@lifeontheswingset.com or primingthepump@lifeontheswingset.com, you know... whatever tickles your fancy. Send us your sexy orgasmic voicemails at 573-55-SWING, that's 573-557-9464! Hey, those awesome gender pronoun "Hello, My name is ___" stickers can be found at Storenvy here! Comments? Complaints? Visit Reddit.com's /r/Swingers to let us know what's on your mind! Search for Comments for SS 144: The Ebb and Flow of Libido and its Effect on Swinging and Polyamory or via a direct link!

20 Jan 20141h 2min

SS 143: Swinging and Polyamory Resolutions for 2014

SS 143: Swinging and Polyamory Resolutions for 2014

Happy New Year everyone! 2013 was a year filled with pain, regret, and some amazing time spend with wonderful people, fans, and at fantastic venues and conventions. 2014 is on course to be a much better year for those of us on the Swingset. We all got together (Cooper, Dylan,  Shira, and Miko) to discuss our hopes and our projects for this new year. Dylan seems to spout out a new resolution every five minutes, between hitting the clubs more, getting larger Chicago based groups of people together for club takeovers and discussion groups and *gasp* potlucks, he also asks that everyone contribute clips of the show to us so we can put together a Simpsons style episode 138 spectacular! Shira discusses wanting to better date women and offers that us swingers will be demanding gluten free meals soon. Miko wants to get her swing on more and all in all create more space and time to enjoy people. Cooper's cracking the whip and preparing everyone to write books and more importantly to him, step back from his efforts to develop polyamorous relationships and to better enjoy the wonderful world of swinging. He's coming back home people. :) We also have wonderful guests lined up for this year, between Charlie Glickman, Dr Antionette Izzo, Kate McCombs, Epiphora, Redhead Bedhead, and more... things really are looking up for the swingset! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14?  Contact us at dylansprops@lifeontheswingset.com so we can put together a clipshow based on your submissions! Send us your sexy orgasmic voicemails at 573-55-SWING, that's 573-557-9464! Comments? Complaints? Visit Reddit.com's /r/Swingers to let us know what's on your mind! Search for Comments for SS 143: Swinging and Polyamory Resolutions for 2014 or via direct link here!

10 Jan 201454min

SS 142: Looking Back at 2013, Welcoming 2014 - New Years Closer

SS 142: Looking Back at 2013, Welcoming 2014 - New Years Closer

We had a pretty rough year on the Swingset. We had some wonderful ups, speaking at two major sex-positive conferences about Progressive Swinging, giving a "Swinging 101" seminar at the Tool Shed in Milwaukee, WI, hosting a second trip to Desire: Riviera Maya, and had some terrible lows; divorce and relationship drama, family issues, and extreme time constraints. We decided to have a nice little end of the year chat. We've traveled and spoken so much this year, experienced so many beautiful people, endured intolerable amounts of grief, and come out of it looking forward to 2014. We give a little summary of some of the sexy events we've attended, laugh at The Professor for breaking the cardinal rule of hot tubs, and commiserate about the year a bit. We're also saying goodbye to Ginger for the next few months, we'll miss her and we look forward to her rejoining our little group. See you all in 2014! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14?  Contact us at whateverthehellyouwant@lifeontheswingset.com. Cooper likes e-mail. Visit Reddit.com's /r/Swingers to comment, complain, debate, or help us commiserate! Search for SS142: Looking Back at 2013, Welcoming 2014 - New Years Closer or visit via direct link!

30 Dec 20131h

SS 141: Dylan Hosts a Roundtable Discussion in Paradise - Part 2 - Live from Desire Resort & Spa Cancun

SS 141: Dylan Hosts a Roundtable Discussion in Paradise - Part 2 - Live from Desire Resort & Spa Cancun

This is Part 2 of my accidental roundtable discussion put together in the seaside room of one of our guests at Desire - Riviera Maya. We continue the discussion about bi-women, mansplaining, and puppeteering, and move into non-monogamy identifiers and why they were useful, but taking some time to talk with other people in a room is much more useful. We end our discussion with giving the reasons we came and why we'll keep coming back. Then the frisco community brings up possibilities of a swingset commune.  Oh boy. Interested in commenting or discussing this week's episode? Visit Reddit's /r/Swingers and search for SS141: Dylan Hosts a Roundtable Discussion in Paradise - Part 2 - Live from Desire Resport & Spa Cancun Didn't hear Part 1? Check it out at SS 140: Dylan Hosts a Roundtable Discussion in Paradise - Part 1 - Live from Desire Resort & Spa Cancun! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14?  Contact us at commune@lifeontheswingset.com. Let us know when you're ready to raise chickens with the rest of us.

20 Dec 201358min

SS 140: Dylan Hosts a Roundtable Discussion in Paradise - Part 1 - Live from Desire Resort & Spa Cancun

SS 140: Dylan Hosts a Roundtable Discussion in Paradise - Part 1 - Live from Desire Resort & Spa Cancun

Dylan had an idea. He thought it'd be a great idea to sit down, two on one with couples while at Desire and interview them, ask questions about how their vacation was going, get some decent soundbites, and enjoy the calm warmth of good discussion and good company. This was anything but calm. What began as a simple interview turned into a roundtable (dildohead) discussion where no topic found itself out of bounds, we discussed single male swingers, the trials and tribulations of dating as a bi-woman seeking another bi or gay woman, connecting with others and how Desire compares with a swinger club or a house party, many more items came up. The discussion lasts longer than we had for this episode so make sure to catch next week's episode for Part 2. ... I should totally do this more often.   Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14?  Contact us at dylanlicksmynipples@lifeontheswingset.com. Let us know when that one gets old.

13 Dec 20131h 5min

SS 139: Swinging In Paradise - Live from Desire Resort & Spa Cancun

SS 139: Swinging In Paradise - Live from Desire Resort & Spa Cancun

Midway through Life on the Swingset's second annual trip to Desire Resort & Spa in Cancun, Dylan, Ginger, & Cooper sat down with many of the tour guests to record a silly podcast reflecting on the trip so far, and what lifestyle vacations can be. There's a drinking game, there's guests talking about what Desire means to them, there's Dylan and Cooper squaring off the way they always seem to do in person, and there's Ginger continuing to be the heart and soul of the Swingset. With tequila.

4 Dec 20131h 5min

SS 138: Risk Aware Sex - Condoms, Dental Dams, & Rebranding Safe Sex with Dr. Antoinette Izzo

SS 138: Risk Aware Sex - Condoms, Dental Dams, & Rebranding Safe Sex with Dr. Antoinette Izzo

We've evolved quite a bit over the last three years, our choices in play preferences, what we're open to, and the people we're open to play with have expanded as well. We've chosen to use safer sex barrier barriers and integrated it with our play. Thinking about it all in the lens of Risk Aware Sex, a term coined by Dr. Antoinette Izzo is what we discuss today. Getting away from fallacies and dangers of using "clean" as people who don't have STIs and moving towards making safety sexy occupies the bulk of our discussion. Personal responsibility is king, it's up to us to take care of ourselves. We also take a couple detours to discuss sensual vs. sexual energy, and Ginger's Panties (or lack thereof). You can find Dr. Antoinette Izzo at Sense Appeal! Slots for our "The Swingset Takes Desire 2014" trip are open! Visit http://www.lifeontheswingset.com/the-swingset-takes-desire-2014/ to join us!

21 Nov 20131h 14min

SS 137: Our Open Agreement - Setting Rules and Boundaries in Swinging & Polyamory with Cat Maness

SS 137: Our Open Agreement - Setting Rules and Boundaries in Swinging & Polyamory with Cat Maness

When preparing to embark on open relationship, or deep within the throes of one, hammering out an open agreement, determining your rules and boundaries, and having those ever important discussions are essential. Today we’re joined by Cat Maness, creator of Our Open Agreement Tool, an online resource for creating your agreements, to discuss why these are worth having and discuss how to put them together. We also discuss a listener e-mail from Episode 130, Swinger Profiles. You can find Cat Maness at http://www.catmaness.com/! Check out Our Open Agreement at www.ouropenagreement.com! Slots for our "The Swingset Takes Desire 2014" trip are open! Visit http://www.lifeontheswingset.com/the-swingset-takes-desire-2014/ to join us!

7 Nov 201355min

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