SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

Tonight the Swingset opens the mailbag... but does so carefully, as it's -20F outside. Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Bex Caputo, and Lunabelle answer your listener questions!

Question 1:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We have amazing sex, but I can't seem to get satisfied sexually. We have sex/oral sex at least twice a day, but it seems like the more I orgasm, the more I crave it. He's slightly below average size, and I don't have any problems with his size because he knows what to do with it, but he's very self-conscious about his size. I'd love to bring up the topic of polyamory to him, but I'm afraid he'll feel like I want to do it just to be with someone bigger. In fact, I'm 100% positive that is what he would think. I've always felt that I might be bisexual. I'm fascinated with being with a woman, but I don't know how he'll react. Of course, it's every guys fantasy to have a threesome, but because of his self-consciousness, I don't think he'd be interested. I won't lie, being with someone bigger is also a curiosity of mine. He has a phobia (?) of someone bigger changing the way my vagina feels to him, so even if he were interested in swinging, I don't think he'd want me to be with another man.

I love him very much, but I feel like there are a lot of things I want to experience and I'm not getting any younger (I'm 36). I don't want to break up over it, because I'm very happy with him, but I'd also like to see what his thoughts are about it. How can I bring it up in a subtle, non-threatening way that might make him more interested?

Question 2:

My spouse and I are considering divorce. We love each other so much, but 15 years of marriage has left it's scars. We both have other partners, and breaking up with them, or closing our relationship at all is not on the table. These relationships are long standing, and breaking up would hurt multiple people and breed resentment. Besides, the openness of our relationship is not the issue. Do you have any advice for maintaining secondary relationships while the primary is in trouble? How to maintain boundaries when your whole life is up in the air?

Hope that's not too long! I love your podcast, and I especially love listening to it at work, where everyone thinks I'm a sweet normal and slightly boring office manager.

Question 3:

We are always taught to think of ourselves as being sexy but we won't look at ourselves and imagine ourselves as being sexy individuals. One of the problems that I've seen recently is you look at profiles or even advertise it for things even the desire takeover is we talked a get-together of sexy people or people say we are looking for other sexy couples.

The man that couples look it up and see that she is a BBW or I am a short chunky guy we no longer fit that is sexy category and both know hurts her feelings hurt our feelings.

Why is it that BBW it's almost turned into a niche versus just a description of an individual? It's almost like you're not an individual you're a BBW so you don't fit into this category and I've seen this very very bad in the swingers world.

So my question would be for you all is have you seen this how open are you to BBWs in your opinion of BBWs and how suggestion would you make to BBWs to get themselves more confident comfortable and energetic about the lifestyle itself?

Lunabelle mentioned her post, "I Like Big Toys and I Cannot Lie".

Ginger mentioned the Unfuckwithable video.

Dylan mentioned Elle Chase's book, Curvy Girl Sex .

Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

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SS 067: Newly Non-Monogamous - Do We Like New Swingers & Polyamorists?

SS 067: Newly Non-Monogamous - Do We Like New Swingers & Polyamorists?

After a detour involving Prof Stephen Hawking's time spent at a sex club, we discuss new swingers, polyamorists, and non-monogamists. Cooper and Dylan both profess their affection with newbies, while Shira and Ginger confess they make them nervous. After the break we talk about our own experiences being newbies, and get sidetracked again by a discussion of Classic Chicago Commercials. Cooper closes the show by reviewing Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide To Pegging.

19 Mars 201258min

SS 066: Chemistry - Connections, Pheromones, & Animal Attraction in Non-Monogamy

SS 066: Chemistry - Connections, Pheromones, & Animal Attraction in Non-Monogamy

Dylan launches a custom sexy talk service. We discuss the ethics and reasoning behind wanting or not wanting to date someone you're mentoring. Cooper and Dylan both want to fuck all their friends. We discuss what chemistry means to us all, the surprise of a chemistry blindside, and the difficulty of getting four way chemistry in swinging dating. Cooper reviews the Nexus Revo.

5 Mars 20121h 10min

SS 065: Friends & Lovers - Do We Want To Be Friends With These People We Fuck?

SS 065: Friends & Lovers - Do We Want To Be Friends With These People We Fuck?

JV Altharas and Shara from Ending The Sexual Dark Age join us to discuss the dichotomy of being friends with your swinging playmates, and how we feel that enhances the value of the sex, but also how that can drift into other ares. We get sidetracked by the idea of writing directions on thighs, Cooper updates his Poly experiment, and Dylan rants about politics.

27 Feb 20121h 14min

SS 064: Kink-O-Rama - Pegging, Voyeurism, Sapiosexuals, & Comfort

SS 064: Kink-O-Rama - Pegging, Voyeurism, Sapiosexuals, & Comfort

We cold open with Cooper having a butt plug (hand crafted by Boris at BnDpodcast.com) inserted by Marilyn, then lead into a discussion of our kinks kicked off by a listener voicemail request. We round robin it for a while, discovering some of our surface kinks, resistance play, certain clothes, BDSM and pegging tops the list. Dylan spends much of the show insisting he doesn't have any kinks before realizing time and again that he does. We also talk about being squicked out by some people's kinks, and the difference between kink and fetish.

18 Feb 20121h 10min

SS 063: Swinging For Dummies IV - Relationships, Websites, & Sexy Vacations

SS 063: Swinging For Dummies IV - Relationships, Websites, & Sexy Vacations

We wrap up our "Swinging For Dummies" primer for the swinging lifestyle with the future. We discuss the types of relationships you might want to have with your swinging playmates, how to discuss that with them, how to determine what you're trying to get out of swinging, what websites you might use, and then shamelessly we implore you to join us in Desire this November.

7 Feb 20121h 2min

SS 062: Swinging For Dummies III – Rules & Group Sex

SS 062: Swinging For Dummies III – Rules & Group Sex

We squick Dylan out with talk of dragon sex. Dylan vindicates himself with a listener voicemail about post vasectomy emptiness, then discusses his gigantic balls. Once we establish that Shira is the Dummy of the title, we begin by discussing the difference between soft swap and full swap, same and separate rooms, and group sex.  We discuss developing community, not rushing, and rules, how being drunk is a turn-off. You're dating as a team.

30 Jan 20121h 7min

SS 061: Swinky - A Very BDSM Show Length Business

SS 061: Swinky - A Very BDSM Show Length Business

The Swingset crew gets quickly sidetracked by business that rapidly consumes the show. Dylan wants to be a Dom, Shira is enjoying being submissive. Cooper assigns the listeners the quest for a high quality strap on dildo that can squirt. We talk about being a switch, Cooper reveals his submissive tendencies, and we realize that we've talked far too long to continue the Swinging For Dummies show before next week.

23 Jan 201242min

SS 060: Swinging For Dummies II - Talking To Your Partner About Non-Monogamy

SS 060: Swinging For Dummies II - Talking To Your Partner About Non-Monogamy

We continue our "Swinging For Dummies" discussion by moving into how to talk to your partner about your interest in non-monogamy. We weigh the idea of non-monogamy being a "deal-breaker" for your relationship and the future. Also on topic is potential for jealousy, the importance of LOTS of communication, and the excellent resources Sex at Dawn and Opening Up. When all is said and done, it's important to remember that you're going to be okay TOGETHER.

16 Jan 201254min

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