So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex (ft. Ian Kerner)

So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex (ft. Ian Kerner)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with sex therapist and author Ian Kerner to break down what’s really going on in your sex life, starting with one simple question: “So tell me about the last time you had sex.”

From there, they unpack the patterns most couples fall into and why sex often becomes routine, disconnected, or unsatisfying over time. This episode dives into the hidden dynamics behind desire, communication, and intimacy and how to actually fix them.

They cover:

  • sex scripts and why most people follow the same predictable pattern
  • spontaneous vs responsive desire and why mismatched libidos happen
  • why initiation often fails (and creates rejection cycles)
  • obligation sex vs genuinely wanting it
  • the role of foreplay, arousal, and why rushing to penetration backfires
  • the orgasm gap and importance of clitoral stimulation
  • why couples stop prioritizing sex in long-term relationships
  • communication struggles and how to actually say what you want
  • turning complaints into clear desires
  • building anticipation, tension, and erotic connection
  • practical tools like the “willingness window”
  • how to create better sex through intention, not just chemistry


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