90. How I've made make huge identify-shifting decisions over the last decade+

What if you’re not actually confused?

What if you already know what needs to change, but you’re afraid to feel the grief, guilt, or fear that comes with saying it out loud?

In this episode, I’m sharing from a very personal place.

I’m currently sitting in a big decision about whether I’m leaving San Francisco, the Bay Area, or even the country. And what I’ve realized is that the hardest part of a decision like this isn’t always the logistics. Sometimes it’s admitting that you’ve outgrown something that still looks beautiful, successful, or meaningful on paper.

I’m talking about what it looks like to make identity-shifting decisions when you don’t have the full plan yet. The kind of decisions that ask you to trust yourself before you have proof. The kind that come with grief because they affect not just you, but your daughter, your parents, your hometown, your identity, and the life you’ve worked so hard to build.

I also share how this has shown up in other major decisions across my life, from leaving a 13-year relationship, to quitting jobs, to solo travel, to starting over, to building a business and a life that would have made no sense to the version of me that was once just trying to survive.

In this episode, I talk about:

• how to tell the difference between confusion and avoiding your feelings
• why you usually know what you don’t want before you know exactly what you do want
• how grief, guilt, and fear can keep you stuck in a decision you’ve already made privately
• the reflection questions I ask myself when I know I’ve outgrown a season, identity, city, or way of living
• what it looks like to trust yourself when the emotional truth arrives before the logistical clarity

If you’re in a season where something no longer fits, but you haven’t been ready to fully admit it yet, this episode will hit.

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