Won’t vs. Can’t: The Parenting Shift That Changes Everything with Stacey Curnow

What if your child isn’t refusing… but actually can’t?

In this episode, we’re unpacking one of the most powerful mindset shifts in parenting... the difference between “won’t” and “can’t.” Because what looks like defiance is often something much deeper: nervous system dysregulation.

I’m joined by Stacey Curnow, AuDHDer, family therapist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling, who specializes in helping parents move out of exhausting power struggles and into true partnership with their kids using Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) framework.

We talk about:

Why behavior is communication (not a character flaw)
How dysregulation shows up before the meltdown
Why traditional discipline models miss the mark
How to shift from control → curiosity → connection
Supporting kids with sensitive or demand-avoidant nervous systems

This conversation is your “glasses moment”.... the one that changes how you see everything.

💖 Free Gift for Listeners:
Stacey is offering a free resource called the Defiance Decoder — a simple tool to help you recognize that what we often call “defiance” is actually a late sign of dysregulation, and how to spot the earlier signals so you can intervene before things escalate.
👉 ashevillefamilycounseling.com/podcast-gift

🔗 Connect with Stacey:

🌿 Website: ashevillefamilycounseling.com
📲 Instagram: @AshevilleFamilyCounseling
📘 Facebook: @StaceyCurnow
🎧 Podcast: The Repair Your Relationship Podcast

🎙️ New episodes every week
💖 Join the NeuroSpicy community on Patreon for full video episodes and deeper conversations

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