Understanding Codependency: Are You Too Invested in Others?

Do you often feel exhausted, resentful, or underappreciated in your relationships? In this episode, Gabe Howard and licensed psychotherapist Terri Cole explore the complexities of codependency, including its less-talked-about form: “high functioning codependency.” Terri shares practical tools like the “resentment inventory” to identify unhealthy relational patterns and explains how overgiving can be an unconscious attempt to control chaos. You’ll also learn how societal pressures, especially on women, play a role in this dynamic and how setting boundaries can lead to healthier, more fulfilling connections. Whether you're managing relationships with friends, family, or colleagues, this episode will help you understand the line between healthy care and codependent behaviors. If you’re tired of saying yes when you want to say no or struggling to let others help you, this is a must-listen conversation. “I coined the phrase high functioning codependency because my clients were these highly capable women, in particular, who did not identify with sort of the old school, Melody Beattie, “Codependent No More,” it's enabling an addict. That's all it is, basically. They're like dependent? I'm not dependent on squat. Everyone's dependent on me. I'm making all the money. I'm making all the decisions. I'm kind of the boss around here, so I can't be codependent, which is not true.” ~Terri Cole To learn more -- or read the transcript -- visit the official episode page. Our guest, Terri Cole, is a licensed psychotherapist and global relationship and empowerment expert and the author of “Boundary Boss” and “Too Much.” For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs. She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. Gabe is also the host of the "Inside Bipolar" podcast with Dr. Nicole Washington. Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. He lives with his supportive wife, Kendall, and a Miniature Schnauzer dog that he never wanted, but now can’t imagine life without. To book Gabe for your next event or learn more about him, please visit gabehoward.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices