EP248: Tom Pfanner - How Fathers Can Fix Their Broken Relationships With Their Teenage Kids

"A young man needs his father as an example of how to be a man. Learning it from social media ain't on. And a young woman needs her father as an example of the type of man she ought to pair bond with and marry."

Fatherhood is leadership, not control. Teenagers eventually stop following instructions simply because they're told to. What they continue to follow is strength, consistency, presence, and genuine connection. Sons look closely at whether a father is a man worth respecting and becoming like. Daughters pay attention to whether they are truly heard, understood, and emotionally safe around him. When fathers stop listening, stop leading themselves, or become distracted by work, stress, or technology, the relationship slowly weakens. Repair starts when a man takes ownership of his role and becomes willing to evolve instead of simply demanding obedience.

Tom Pfanner shares the deeply personal story of losing connection with his teenage son and realizing that "the only person left to change was me." He explains how rebuilding the relationship required faith, self-reflection, consistency, and a completely different approach to leadership. Tom breaks down the difference between "action respect" and "connection respect," why young men need fathers they admire, and why daughters need fathers who genuinely know their story. The conversation also explores masculinity, social media influence, and the growing absence of intentional fatherhood in modern culture.

Tom is the founder of Dads Who Lead and author of Dads Who Lead: The Ultimate Guide to Stop Parenting and Start Leading. A former middle and high school PE teacher, strength coach, martial artist, and mentor, Tom now helps fathers strengthen broken relationships with their children through leadership, faith, and intentional presence.

Learn more & connect:

Take Tom's free leadership quiz at https://dadswholead.com/.

YouTube: @TheLeadershipDad

You're invited to come to a Sovereign Circle meeting to experience it for yourself. To learn more, go to https://www.sovereignman.ca/. While you're there, check out the Battle Ready program and check out the store for Sovereign Man t-shirts, hats, and books.