LOVERS by Shan17 Dec 2025

When Conflict Turns Lovers Into Exes ft. Touré

Conflict is inevitable in long-term relationships. Damage doesn’t have to be.In this episode, we explore what actually separates fights that bring couples closer from fights that quietly turn lovers into enemies. We talk about the moment arguments go sideways, why so many conflicts feel bigger than the issue at hand, and how couples can stay on the same team even when they fundamentally disagree.Our guest, Touré Neblett, draws on decades of navigating high-stakes, contentious conversations both publicly and privately to share what he’s learned about emotional regulation, repair, and conflict inside a long-term marriage. This conversation focuses on how disagreement can exist without contempt, and how learning to fight differently can fundamentally change the trajectory of a relationship.Follow TouréWebsite → https://toure.com Toure Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/toureshow/ Instagram YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo-SwvkGbQgDt3oXfASPPJQ youtube.comPodcast → Touré Show (Apple/Spotify) Books → Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? What It Means to Be Black Now; I Would Die 4 U: Why Prince Became an Icon; Soul City; Never Drank the Kool-Aid; The Portable Promised Land; Nothing Compares 2 U (available on Amazon and major booksellers)Want more Lover? Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comReceive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I Stayed Through 80% of His Sentence, Then Left ft. Keeonna Harris

Dr. Keeonna Harris was 14 when she got pregnant, and before her son turned one, his father, Jason Espinoza, was starting a 22-year prison sentence. For the next two decades she drove up and down Calif...

28 Okt 53min

Abstinence is the Only Correct Path to Sex says Tony Gaskins

Tony Gaskins got his start because a friend told him he was the biggest player she'd ever known. Today he tells millions of women to wait until marriage, and he's upfront that the message comes straig...

21 Okt 1h 35min

This Situationship Taught Me About What I Want in Bed ft. Sabrina Zohar

Sabrina Zohar has built a career helping people see the patterns they learned before they could name them, and in this conversation she turns that lens on her own twenties. At 24, she met a 36-year-o...

14 Okt 58min

You Abandoned Me, Stop Calling it a Breakup ft. Shaun Ross

Shaun Ross was the first professional male model with albinism, and in this conversation he tells Shan about the breakup he refuses to call a breakup, because he was never in the room for it. Two hour...

7 Okt 36min

So We're Just Gonna Pretend Like... | Responding to Your Comments Live Via G

I'm answering your comments on Via G's episode. Via G is a New Orleans creator (yes, the baby bangs) who spent her twenties moving from one 18-month relationship to the next, and the last one look...

2 Okt 42min

He Felt Like the Dad I Never Had. That Was the Problem ft. Via G

Via G is a New Orleans creator (yes, the baby bangs) who spent her twenties moving from one 18-month relationship to the next, and the last one looked perfect on paper: he cooked, he could match her f...

30 Sep 55min

If It Don't Apply, Let It Fly | Responding to Your Comments Live: Kendrick Sampson

I'm answering your comments on Kendrick Sampson choosing freedom over romance, and you did not agree. When Kendrick Sampson (the actor you know from Insecure and How to Get Away with Murder, and the ...

25 Sep 1h 6min

Romantic Love Is the Most Narrow Form of Love ft. Kendrick Sampson

Kendrick Sampson (founder of the racial justice nonprofit BLD PWR, actor best known as Nathan in Insecure and Quincy Jones in Michael Jackson's biopic) sits down with Shan to talk about loving widely....

23 Sep 58min