Why “Normal” Sex Doesn’t Work for Many Black and Brown Women Ft. Aida Mariam Davis

Why “Normal” Sex Doesn’t Work for Many Black and Brown Women Ft. Aida Mariam Davis

Get $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to http://tonal.com, then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount.—In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Aida Mariam Davis, author of Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom, to explore one question: Is your sex life by design?We unpack the idea that so much of our sexual identity isn’t accidental, it’s constructed. From childhood messaging that disconnects us from our bodies, to adulthood expectations that swing between repression and performance, Aida breaks down how Western culture creates a fragmented relationship with intimacy. The result? A sex life that often feels confusing, isolating, or performative rather than intentional and embodied.Together, we explore what it looks like to reclaim your sexuality on your own terms. Aida shares how her relationship with her husband was rooted in freedom, patience, and self-possession, not pressure or performance, and how that created the foundation for deeper intimacy, trust, and desire.This conversation will challenge what you’ve been taught about sex, and invite you to design something that actually fits you. Resources mentioned→ What If Your Sex Life Is By Design? | Intimate Life Audit: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/what-if-your-sex-life-is-by-design-intimate-life-audit → A Guide to the Sexual Journey As We Grow: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/normal-sexual-development-from-0-18 Follow Aida Mariam Davis→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aidamariam/→ Learn more about Decolonize Design: https://www.decolonizedesign.com/ → Get her book Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom https://rep.club/products/kindred-creation?srsltid=AfmBOor4haNsPUvlYWcMk7oxSWdcmG-yZCTBeLjGtTDoFO_IaJXU_Jwj Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Listen Again: Singer Mario Opens Up About Emotional Healing After Maternal Trauma

Listen Again: Singer Mario Opens Up About Emotional Healing After Maternal Trauma

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Listen Again: Don’t Have Sex With Someone If You Both Can’t Do THIS ft. Lena Waithe

Listen Again: Don’t Have Sex With Someone If You Both Can’t Do THIS ft. Lena Waithe

We've been on a short break the past two weeks, so we're revisiting one of our favorites: Lena Waithe on why she won't have sex with someone unless she can already picture what happens after, and why ...

12 Aug 55min

Listen Again: I  Lost My Sex Drive Because He Never Did THIS ft. Cree Summer

Listen Again: I Lost My Sex Drive Because He Never Did THIS ft. Cree Summer

We're on a short break the next two weeks, so we're revisiting one of our favorites: Cree Summer on losing (and finding again) her sex drive after 50, and why emotional safety made all the difference....

5 Aug 1h 1min

If There Was a Female Version of “Viagra”, Would You Take It?

If There Was a Female Version of “Viagra”, Would You Take It?

#AD This episode is sponsored by Daré Bioscience. DARE to PLAY™ Sildenafil Cream is a compounded drug. It is not FDA-approved. This product has not been reviewed by FDA for safety or efficacy. It is m...

29 Juli 1h 5min

Naomi Sharon: Learning About OCD Taught Me Why I Can't Let Go

Naomi Sharon: Learning About OCD Taught Me Why I Can't Let Go

Naomi Sharon is an R&B singer-songwriter, the first woman signed to Drake's OVO Sound label, and the voice behind Obsidian — an album she wrote, she says, while stuck in a loop she didn't yet have a n...

22 Juli 49min

Does Unrequited Love Mean the Love Wasn't Real? ft. Tanerélle

Does Unrequited Love Mean the Love Wasn't Real? ft. Tanerélle

Tanerélle is a singer-songwriter whose voice sits somewhere between neo-soul and quiet revelation, with singles like feels like love and Nothing Without You building a devoted audience around the spec...

15 Juli 1h

I Embarrassed Him and We Had to Talk About It

I Embarrassed Him and We Had to Talk About It

There are three forms of intimacy every relationship runs on — and most couples only know two of them. Emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, and the one nobody has named yet: social intimacy, which i...

8 Juli 1h 4min

Stop Turning Me Into Inspiration Porn — Ericka Hart on Nasty Work

Stop Turning Me Into Inspiration Porn — Ericka Hart on Nasty Work

Ericka Hart (she/they) is a sex educator, author, and breast cancer survivor who has spent their career arguing that pleasure isn't a luxury — it's a right that's been systematically withheld from Bla...

1 Juli 41min

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