Nonviolent Communication at Home: Margot Magowan on Parenting Without Gaslighting

In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes her longtime friend Margot Magowan - parent coach, writer, speaker, and former co-founder of the Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership - for a deeply personal conversation about parenting, power dynamics, and how easily gaslighting can show up at home, even when parents mean well.

Margot shares how she moved from leadership work to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) after her oldest daughter struggled with serious behavioral health challenges. What began as exhaustion, self-blame, and a sense of "I'm failing" became an awakening. She realized that emotions aren't problems to solve or debate. They're signals. Together, Robin and Margot unpack how NVC helps parents shift from "fixing" to connecting, and why naming feelings and needs can restore trust, autonomy, and safety in the parent-child relationship.

They talk about the difference between a request and a demand, how fear can lead parents to control their children in ways that undermine confidence, and how the culture of patriarchy and capitalism sets mothers up to feel inadequate while devaluing emotional life. Margot also describes what it looked like to bring NVC into a real household with three daughters, moving from "therapy robot" scripts to an authentic, grounded way of relating, and the long-term impact - siblings who can repair conflict and stay connected without escalation.

This episode is a hopeful reminder that you can learn new skills, change old patterns, and build relationships where everyone's needs matter, without losing boundaries, authority, or honesty.

To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com.

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Dr. Robin Stern's Books:

The Gaslight Effect

The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide

Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders

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