So Now What? Recapping How Lana Manikowski Found Life After Infertility

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance, Ginny Lupka, and Lana Manikowski and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area.

This episode contains topics that may be upsetting to some listeners including infertility and reproductive trauma, unexplained infertility diagnosis, IUI and IVF treatment, chromosomally abnormal embryo, childlessness not by choice, identity loss and grief, and mental health challenges.

Welcome to episode five of Love & Infertility, the podcast specifically created for couples navigating the emotional rollercoaster of infertility, IVF, IUI, miscarriage, and reproductive trauma together. Today, hosts and therapists Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka revisit their conversation with Lana Manikowski, drawing out the key relationship insights and offering practical tools that couples can use right now.

Lana's journey began with an unexplained infertility diagnosis at 37. Over seven years, she and her husband Jack navigated multiple rounds of IUI and IVF before receiving the heartbreaking news that their one remaining embryo was chromosomally abnormal. Facing the end of the road with no children, Lana sat with the most disorienting question imaginable: "So now what?"

Clay and Ginny unpack what made Lana and Jack's marriage survive and even strengthen through it all: the power of honoring different grief styles, trading guilt for grief, and the quiet, connecting skill of interpersonal mindfulness.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

(01:47) Why partners rarely grieve infertility the same way — and why that's okay

(03:54) Interpersonal mindfulness: seeing your partner's experience without losing your own

(05:43) Self-criticism during infertility and how to swap guilt for grief and acceptance

(09:45) The dual process of grief: how pain and growth can coexist

(18:41) Learning to attune instead of debate

(21:57) Losing together to win: why curiosity beats convincing

(25:24) Joy and grief both need community to be fully processed

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• So Now What? Creating the Life You Love Without the Children You Always Wanted by Lana Manikowski

• Free Download: Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond

• Couple Therapy for Reproductive Grief by Dr. Clay Brigance, coming Fall 2026
• Gottman Method Couples Therapy
• Infertility and Mental Health Manual

LET'S CONNECT:

Lana Manikowski

• Website: LanaManikowski.com

• Instagram: @lana.manikowski

• Lana Manikowski on YouTube

  
  

  Dr. Clay Brigance

• Instagram: @dr_claybrigance

• Website: www.drclaybrigance.com

  
  

  Ginny Lupka

• Instagram: @ginnylupkacounseling

• Substack: "That's Our Time"

• Website: www.ginnylupkacounseling.com