375. Heated Rivalry, Hockey, and How Good Sex Ed Can Change the World

Episode one of Heated Rivalry with the amazing urologists Dr. Winter, Dr. Rubin, Dr. Gonzalez and Dr. Casperson! Episode 375: Heated Rivalry, Hockey, and How Good Sex Ed Actually Looks What happens when a group of urologists and sex medicine experts binge a gay hockey romance and can't stop talking about it? This episode. "Heated Rivalry" isn't just a sports romance — it's one of the most emotionally honest portrayals of gay intimacy, identity, and desire that's made it to mainstream media. And as someone who spends her days helping people understand their bodies, their sexuality, and their relationships? I had a lot of thoughts. So I brought in the experts. In this episode, we're going deep — on the show, on the science, and on everything "Heated Rivalry" gets right that your sex ed class absolutely got wrong. In this episode, we cover: 🏒 Representation that actually lands — What the show gets right about gay sex on screen, why it matters for viewers of all orientations, and how seeing yourself reflected in media shapes your sexual self-concept ❤️ The emotional architecture of coming out in sports culture — Identity, secrecy, fear, and what it costs to hide who you are in hypermasculine environments. This isn't just a hockey story. 🤫 Silent communication and nonverbal intimacy — The show does something remarkable with what's not said. We talk about what that reflects about real-life queer intimacy and how couples communicate desire without words 💪 Body image, physicality, and the male gaze (turned inward) — How the show handles the aestheticization of male bodies, and what that does for viewers who've never seen their own body type centered as desirable 🛡️ Consent, power dynamics, and emotional safety in LGBTQ+ relationships — Because good sex requires more than physical compatibility. We break down what the show models and what it could do better 🚿 The practical stuff: anal hygiene, douching, and lubrication — Yes, we're going there. Because nobody else is explaining this clearly, and shame-free, accurate information saves people from unnecessary anxiety and actual injury 📚 "Heated Rivalry" as accidental sex ed — Why fiction sometimes does what textbooks and providers fail to do: make people feel normal, curious, and empowered rather than broken 💬 Your reactions — What listeners and viewers are saying, and how this show is opening conversations that weren't happening before Why this episode matters: If you think this episode is just for gay men or hockey fans, think again. This is an episode about what good intimacy looks like — the negotiation, the vulnerability, the communication, the logistics. These themes live in every relationship, every body, every bedroom. Also: accurate, shame-free education about anal sex has historically been nearly nonexistent in mainstream medicine and sex ed. The result? People making decisions without good information, experiencing pain that's preventable, and feeling like their desires are somehow abnormal. We're fixing that today. Listen to my Tedx Talk: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Why we need adult sex ed⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Waitlist is open⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Thanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken.Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/pi To learn more about Via vaginal moisturizer from Solv Wellness, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠via4her.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and get 20% off your first order. For an additional $5 off, use coupon code DRKELLY5. Clinicians can request patient materials or samples at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hcp.solvwellness.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Thanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Midi Women's Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Designed by midlife experts, delivered by experienced clinicians, covered by insurance.Midi is the first virtual care clinic made exclusively for women 40+. Evidence-based treatments. Personalized midlife care.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.joinmidi.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices