Ep. 186: Why So Many Couples End Up Living Like Roommates (And How to Reconnect)

Most marriages don't fall apart overnight.

They drift.

Over time, couples can find themselves feeling more like roommates than spouses—sharing a home, raising kids, managing responsibilities, but slowly losing the closeness and connection they once enjoyed.

In this episode, Chris and Jamie sit down with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo of One Extraordinary Marriage to discuss their journey from disconnection, debt, and considering divorce to building a thriving marriage that has helped thousands of couples around the world.

Tony and Alisa share how a radical challenge became a turning point in their marriage and how that experience eventually led to the creation of their Six Pillars of Intimacy framework.

In this conversation, you'll learn:

• The warning signs that your marriage may be drifting into roommate syndrome
• Why emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, recreational, and sexual intimacy all matter
• How small cracks can reveal opportunities for growth and healing
• The difference between physical intimacy and sexual intimacy
• Why many couples focus on weaknesses instead of strengths
• How to create more connection in every season of marriage
• Practical ways to begin rebuilding intimacy and trust

If your marriage feels disconnected, discouraged, or stuck, this episode will give you hope and a practical roadmap for moving forward together.

00:00 Meet Tony and Alisa

02:12 How the Podcast Began

04:56 Marriage Struggles and Drift

10:03 Red Flags of Roommates

12:37 Why Six Pillars Matter

16:58 The 60 Day Sex Challenge

24:22 Vulnerability and Ripple Effects

28:00 Start Small With God

28:43 The Touchy Feely Mask

29:37 Six Pillars Explained

31:12 Identity Blocks Growth

34:11 Stages Of Life Touch

36:39 Cracks Become Growth

41:43 Define Intimacy Not Sex

43:21 Quick Pillar Rundown

47:45 Free Quiz And Next Steps

51:30 Six Pillars At Sea

54:20 Final Thanks And Wrap

🔔 Subscribe for more Christian marriage encouragement and practical relationship advice.

📚 Learn more about Tony and Alisa, their book, the assessment, and their offerings:
https://oneextraordinarymarriage.com