Connection After Loss with Liz Brenner

This episode didn't go as planned, and I'm grateful it didn't.

I invited Liz Brenner on the podcast to talk about the Family Process article on the family systems roots of IFS she co-authored with Dick Schwartz and Carol Becker in 2023. Instead, we found ourselves talking about grief.

A month before we recorded, my dad died unexpectedly. Liz lost her partner, Dan, in 2018, just six weeks after his cancer diagnosis. We both came into the conversation still processing our losses, and grief was the conversation we needed to have.

Takeaways

• Grief can break you, and it can also heal you. Both can be true at once
• A felt connection to someone who has died can be a real and ongoing relationship
• When the spiritual dimension of Self gets left out, the Self-to-part relationship can feel smaller than it actually is
• Constraint release, an idea from family systems therapy, asks what pattern isn't working rather than what's broken
• Meaning-making is an often-overlooked stage of grief
• A part that's afraid of losing connection to someone you love can be asked to step back (Liz learned that during a session with Dick Schwartz)
• Family systems theory shaped IFS more than we realize

We'll have Liz back on to finish the conversation about the family systems article.

About Liz Brenner

Liz Brenner, LICSW, is the director of Therapy Training Boston, the continuing legacy of the Family Institute of Cambridge. She is the primary instructor of their Intensive Certification Program in Couples and Family Therapy and co-author, with Richard Schwartz and Carol Becker, of the 2023 Family Process article on the development of the IFS model (email Liz for access to the article). Follow Therapy Training Boston on Facebook or Instagram. Links: Therapy Training Boston Courses and Workshops

Episode Sponsor

This episode is sponsored by Souliology.

Souliology offers retreats and immersive learning experiences for IFS professionals, many led by IFS Senior Lead Trainers and eligible for continuing education credits.

Their programs support deep professional and personal growth, offering space to step away from the demands of daily life so you can return to your practice more present and resourced for the clients you serve.

Souliology: Where growth meets depth. Learn more at souliology.com

About The One Inside

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

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