How to Set Boundaries With a Toxic Aging Parent (Without the Guilt)

Do you owe your toxic aging parent everything... or nothing? Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Stinson, author of The Obligation Myth: Rethinking What You Owe Your Difficult Aging Parent, joins the show to unpack what happens when a critical, dismissive, or covertly narcissistic parent starts needing care — and why "I do everything" or "I do nothing" was never the real choice.

We dig into the specific family roles that get assigned in childhood — the scapegoat, the golden child, the invisible child, and the enmeshed child — and how each one carries a different wound, gets triggered differently, and needs a completely different approach to setting a boundary. Dr. Stinson also breaks down how fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) get weaponized differently depending on which role you were handed, and why your role can shift as the family system changes around you.

If you've ever walked into your parent's house and instantly felt five years old again, this episode will help you understand why — and what to actually do about it.

Lisa D. Stinson, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist specializing in complex PTSD, narcissistic abuse recovery, adult children of dysfunctional families, and the psychology of toxic family obligation. Her expertise was forged through extensive experience as an active-duty Navy psychologist, where she predominantly worked with trauma patients. Dr. Stinson holds both a Master's degree and Doctorate from the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University, following her undergraduate studies at the University of Alaska Anchorage. Substack: lisadstinsonphd.substack.com Website: lisadstinsonphd.com

The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case.

This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided.

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