141. Healing Trauma Isn’t About Calming Down

141. Healing Trauma Isn’t About Calming Down

In this episode, I’m taking a do-over.

Over the last few years on Mayhem, I’ve talked so much about trauma, nervous systems, hypervigilance, emotional regulation, and healing after narcissistic abuse and childhood trauma. But the more I’ve learned from daughters, from the Mayhem Daughters community, and from our first in-person retreat, the more I’ve realized I want to simplify how I think about healing and what actually helps people heal.

In this conversation, I’m sharing how my understanding of trauma healing has evolved and why I no longer believe healing happens entirely through insight or isolation.

We talk about:

Nervous systems and childhood trauma

People pleasing, hypervigilance, and self abandonment

Why “just calm down” doesn’t work for daughters

Connection, community, and relational healing

Secure attachment and why shows like Shrinking resonate so deeply

The mother wound and allowing safe people to love you well

Why healing happens inside of relationships, not outside of them

This episode is for daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers who are trying to understand themselves, feel safer in their bodies, and experience healing in a more connected, human way.

Join Mayhem Daughters


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Avsnitt(171)

153. When Your Narcissistic Mother Turns the Family Against You

153. When Your Narcissistic Mother Turns the Family Against You

What happens when your narcissistic mother turns the family against you and everyone starts treating you like the problem?This week on Mayhem, we’re talking about what can happen when a difficult moth...

23 Sep 55min

152. Guilt and the Narcissistic Mother: What Do I Actually Owe Her?

152. Guilt and the Narcissistic Mother: What Do I Actually Owe Her?

Guilt can be one of the hardest parts of healing from a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother. How do you know when guilt means you’ve actually done something wrong and when it’s the result of br...

16 Sep 45min

151.Why Ordinary Things Can Feel Threatening After Narcissistic Abuse

151.Why Ordinary Things Can Feel Threatening After Narcissistic Abuse

What happens when something ordinary in your life suddenly makes your body feel unsafe, even when you know there’s no real danger?In this episode, we look at why trauma triggers can persist long after...

9 Sep 58min

150!! How to Take Up Space After a Narcissistic Mother

150!! How to Take Up Space After a Narcissistic Mother

What does it actually mean to "take up space" after growing up with a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother?We’re talking about why taking up space feels so vulnerable for daughters, how childhoo...

2 Sep 21min

How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden

How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden

Do you feel guilty asking for help, putting yourself first, or even having preferences? If you've spent your life feeling like a burden, I’ve got you. In this episode, we're talking about the invisibl...

26 Aug 33min

148. Why Making Friends Feels So Hard After a Narcissistic Mother

148. Why Making Friends Feels So Hard After a Narcissistic Mother

Why does making friends and finding community feel so much harder after growing up with a narcissistic or emotionally immature mother? This week, we talk about how childhood trauma shapes connection, ...

19 Aug 43min

147. My Narcissistic Mother Started Therapy. Now What?

147. My Narcissistic Mother Started Therapy. Now What?

What happens when your narcissistic mother starts therapy? What if your emotionally immature or narcissistic mother seems to be changing after years of hurt, manipulation, or emotional abuse? How do y...

12 Aug 46min

146. Word Salad, Love Bombing, Gaslighting & DARVO: How to Stop Getting Pulled Into Narcissistic Mind Games

146. Word Salad, Love Bombing, Gaslighting & DARVO: How to Stop Getting Pulled Into Narcissistic Mind Games

If you've ever walked away from a conversation with your mother feeling confused, doubting yourself, or wondering how you somehow ended up apologizing...I've got your back.Today we're unpacking some o...

5 Aug 36min

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