S1E26 Unraveling Amanda

S1 E25 - Unraveling Amanda - Amanda speaks with honesty, perspective, and compassion—for herself, her parents, and the complexity of the choices made long before she had a voice in them. In this thoughtful and deeply reflective conversation, Kara and Amanda explore what it means to carry a truth for years, sometimes quietly, sometimes in pieces, and what it takes to finally live openly inside it.

Amanda’s story begins before DNA testing was widely available. At 20 years old, when her father asked her to take a paternity test and quietly revealed he had always had doubts about her paternity. What followed was not just a confirmation of truth, but the beginning of a decades-long journey through identity, secrecy, connection, and ultimately, self-acceptance.

SHOW NOTES

Kara and Amanda discuss:

• Discovering the truth before the era of direct-to-consumer DNA testing
• How honesty strengthened her relationship with her raising father
• Confronting parental secrecy, shame, and long-held silence
• Searching for, and ultimately connecting with, her genetic father
• Navigating expanded family dynamics, including siblings and stepfamily
• The emotional toll of living “two lives” and the turning point toward openness
• Grief not just for loss, but for lost time and missed opportunities

Amanda's story reminds us that The Truth doesn’t always arrive all at once. Sometimes it unfolds over years. Finding the courage to live openly within it can be its own kind of healing.

Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.

At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.

For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

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