“I hope you never do that again.”

“I hope you never do that again.”

In Episode 76 of After the Quiet, I share how criticism of my appearance became another tool of control within my marriage. What began with a simple haircut quickly revealed a much deeper pattern of body shaming, insults, and attacks on my self-esteem. I was told I wasn't attractive, that I dressed poorly, that I needed to lose weight, and that I looked old. Over time, those comments chipped away at my confidence and changed the way I saw myself.

This episode also explores the confusing contradiction between constant criticism and constant sexual expectations. Despite being told daily that I wasn't attractive enough, I was still expected to be available whenever he wanted intimacy, often after waiting up late for him to return from the gym or motorcycle club events. Looking back, I can see how criticism and control worked together to keep me questioning my worth.

Episode 76 examines emotional abuse, coercive control, body shaming, self-esteem, sexual entitlement within marriage, and the long-term impact of being viewed through someone else's critical lens. It's a story about reclaiming self-worth and learning that real love builds confidence rather than destroying it.

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Avsnitt(106)

The Last Photo With My Eldest Son

The Last Photo With My Eldest Son

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22 Sep 11min

The Last Birthday Bash

The Last Birthday Bash

Labour Day weekend had always meant one thing in my family: our annual birthday celebration for all the Virgos. In September 2022, we gathered at my mom’s house to celebrate my birthday, my sons’ birt...

15 Sep 18min

The Summer I Thought We Were Getting Closer

The Summer I Thought We Were Getting Closer

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10 Sep 18min

False Glimmer of Hope

False Glimmer of Hope

In July 2022, after months of growing tension and distance, I took all three of my children on a week-long vacation to visit my extended family. For a little while, everything felt normal again.We too...

8 Sep 14min

Big Steps Back

Big Steps Back

It didn't happen overnight. It happened in inches.By early 2022, getting my teenage sons to school during my parenting time had become such a struggle that I made a decision I would later regret: I to...

3 Sep 15min

Finding love after abuse

Finding love after abuse

After separating in 2019, I had finally become comfortable being alone. Then, during COVID, a spontaneous $9.99 Tinder purchase led me to the man who would become my partner. My children welcomed him,...

1 Sep 17min

Calm Before The Storm: Co-Parenting

Calm Before The Storm: Co-Parenting

Can an abusive relationship ever seem peaceful again? In Episode 100 of After the Quiet, I reflect on a surprising chapter during the COVID-19 pandemic when the conflict between my ex-husband and me a...

27 Aug 9min

The Family I Thought I’d Lost

The Family I Thought I’d Lost

What if one of your greatest fears after leaving an abusive relationship never comes true? In Episode 99 of After the Quiet, I share the emotional story of attending my former husband's grandfather's ...

25 Aug 10min

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