Ep.29 AuDHD, Burnout Prevention & Self-Compassion

Content warning:

Burnout, chronic health struggles, mental illness, brief references to domestic violence and the strain of single parenting.

Summary:

In this episode, Bri sits down with Dr Hayley D Quinn — mindset and wellbeing coach, speaker, author, former clinical psychologist, host of the Welcome to Self Unmasked podcast, and past president of Compassionate Mind Australia — to talk about burnout prevention and the power of a compassionate relationship with yourself. Hayley shares her late AuDHD diagnosis, her own significant burnout in 2016, and how discovering Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) changed the way she relates to herself. Together, Bri and Hayley unpack the early warning signs of burnout, why neurotypical recovery advice ("just get out more") can push neurodivergent people further into burnout, and what real burnout prevention looks like: knowing yourself, building in breaks, and treating yourself the way you'd treat a small child you love. They dig into the three flows of compassion (giving, receiving, and self-compassion), why receiving is often the hardest one, and practical ways to start — hand-on-heart check-ins, compassionate letter writing, and asking yourself one simple question.

Takeaways:

• Burnout doesn't always look like collapse. It can look like "everything's fine at work" but nothing left for anyone once you're home, social withdrawal, or things that used to feel easy suddenly feeling hard.
• Neurotypical burnout advice (get out more, push through, stay busy) can push neurodivergent people deeper into burnout — recovery has to be tailored to your neurotype.
• There are three flows of compassion: giving it out, receiving it from others, and offering it to yourself. Most of us are strong on the first and shakiest on the other two.
• A compassionate relationship with yourself isn't about letting yourself off the hook. It takes courage, wisdom, and strength.
• Tone matters as much as words — "you're doing your best" lands completely differently depending on the warmth behind it.
• If a coping strategy doesn't work, that's not failure. It's just data.
• Try it: ask yourself "what's one small thing I could change, that I likely can change, to make my life more enjoyable?"

Follow Hayley:

• Dr Hayley D Quinn is at www.drhayleydquinn.com, on Instagram, Facebook & LinkedIn.
• Hayley's podcast: Welcome to Self Unmasked
• Hayley's book: From Self Neglect to Self Compassion (includes 8 guided compassion meditations via QR code)