Who Taught You About Pleasure? Laura Ramadei on Adult Media and Performance | Episode 18

Today in The Lab, we sit down with Laura Ramadei, SHA certified sexologist, sexuality coach, writer, and host of the feminist comedy podcast Girls on Porn. Laura shares how reviewing adult media through an intersectional feminist lens led her into sexology and why conversations about pornography, pleasure, and media literacy are more important than ever.

Together, we explore how adult media has become the default sex educator for many people, what it gets wrong about intimacy, and how unrealistic expectations around performance leave so many people disconnected from their bodies. Laura also shares practical advice for reconnecting with pleasure, communicating with partners, and finding ethical adult content that prioritizes consent, diversity, and authenticity.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Adult media has become the primary source of sex education for many people, but it often teaches performance instead of pleasure.

• Great sex is built on communication, curiosity, and connection—not unrealistic expectations learned from mainstream pornography.

• Reconnecting with your body often requires slowing down, practicing mindfulness, and letting go of the pressure to perform.

SHOW SUMMARY:

01:44 – Laura Ramadei's experience in podcasting, writing, and media

02:29 – Origins and mission of the Girls on Porn podcast

05:36 – Reflections on a progressive, non-dogmatic sex education

07:54 – Discussion on adult media as a default source of sex education

10:46 – Inaccurate framings of sex in adult media as performance

15:38 – Misconceptions about female orgasm speed and ease

17:33 – Expert recommendations for ethical adult media platforms

23:32 – Writing on non-monogamy and the human experience of desire

27:15 – Challenges of public discourse on sex and digital censorship

31:20 – The impact of FOSTA-SESTA on sex worker safety and networks

35:32 – Inspiration and journey toward becoming a certified sex coach

37:44 – Common intimacy issues, including desire and non-monogamy

39:25 – Performance pressure as a barrier to physical pleasure

41:55 – Nuanced sexual scripts and communication in queer relationships

44:02 – Strategies for transitioning into mindful, present intimacy

45:26 – Mindful masturbation as an exercise for sensory awareness

47:46 – Moving from techniques to partner attunement and dialogue

50:04 – Lightning Round: Rapid advice on books, habits, and myths

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

The Sexology Lab is powered by Sexual Health Alliance, a global hub for world-class certifications, cutting-edge education, and a thriving community of professionals. Many of the show's guests also share their expertise at their events.

Join them at: SexualHealthAlliance.com

Sexology Lab Practice Guide: https://www.sexologylab.com/guide

More from this episode's guest:

• Girls on Porn Podcast: https://girlsonporn.com/

• Laura Ramadei: https://www.lauraramadei.com/

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