A Mother’s Story of Grief, Faith, and Recovery : I Lost My 1-Year Old In Recovery

Jesse stayed sober after losing her 1-year-old son. A mother's story of recovery, grief, and faith.

In December 2022, Jesse hit her rock bottom — a night of drinking and cocaine that ended in an ER waiting room, where she prayed for the first time and asked for help. Four months later, she found out she was pregnant. Her son Jacob — what she calls her miracle baby — became the reason she stayed clean.

Last September, Jacob was rushed to the Emergency room. He didn't come home from the hospital. Against every odd, Jesse stayed sober through it.

In this conversation, she opens up about what nobody warns you about — the brutal month and a half of Suboxone withdrawal, finding leftover drugs in her home days after the funeral, the moment anger (not strength) saved her from relapsing, and why she now believes recovery was training for grief.

In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Jesse opens up about:

– The last 30 days of her addiction and the night she prayed in an ER waiting room

– Coming off Suboxone (a month and a half of withdrawal she calls worse than cocaine)

– Why pregnancy became her head start in recovery – Losing Jacob, and the moment she found leftover drugs in her home days after the funeral

– How recovery turned out to be training for grief — both are one day at a time

– Faith, anger at the funeral, and praying for "just a little relief"

– What real support looks like (the neighbour who didn't ask, she just showed up)

– Her honest answer to "worst day sober vs best day drinking" — and why it's not the one you expect

FOLLOW JESSIES JOURNEY HERE ON INSTAGRAM

📸 INSTAGRAM: @recoveringoutloudpod

🌐 WEBSITE: https://linktr.ee/Recoveringoutloudpod

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ABOUT RECOVERING OUT LOUD

Recovering Out Loud is a peer-led recovery podcast hosted by Anthony — a social work student and person in long-term recovery sharing real stories of addiction and sobriety. No clinical voice. No guru energy. Just lived experience.

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If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or grief, please reach out to a local support resource. This podcast is for peer support and storytelling — not a substitute for clinical care.

#RecoveryPodcast #SoberStories #AddictionRecovery