It’s Okay to Miss Drinking Sometimes : The Part of Recovery Nobody Is Honest About

Is it okay to admit you miss drinking? Psychotherapist Eryl returns to Recovering Out Loud for an honest conversation about the grief almost nobody talks about in early sobriety — and why pretending "it was all bad" can leave you feeling more ashamed and isolated than the truth ever would.

Anthony and Eryl get into the alcohol addiction recovery experience as it really is: substances as an "escape hatch," the abusive-relationship analogy that didn't start out abusive, and the "parts work" idea that you can be grateful to the part of you that helped you survive — without ever going back to it.

They also dig into why we keep reaching outside ourselves for a fix (the car, the body, the next purchase), how attachment and self-regulation sit underneath addiction, the cross-addiction "whack-a-mole," and a hard look at the predatory wellness and peptide marketing showing up in recovery spaces right now. It closes on emotional regulation, money, and what it means to build a life you don't need to escape from.

A peer + therapist conversation about substance abuse recovery, grief, and emotional sobriety — real stories, no guru energy.

This episode discusses body image and eating-disorder recovery. Support resources are in the show notes.

Find Eryl on instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/erylmccaffrey/

00:00 Eryl's last 30 days — and the day she said "I need help"

03:07 Why your "failed attempts" weren't failures

05:09 Is it okay to miss drinking? The grief no one warns you about

07:05 The escape hatch: avoiding discomfort at all costs

09:42 Avoiding people, places & things (and why it's temporary)

11:52 What you were really chasing was connection

13:22 Grieving the old you — and being grateful to it (parts work)

14:50 When the craving hits: delay, distract, cope ahead

18:30 Self-regulation, co-regulation & where addiction starts

20:00 Attachment styles, gender & the substance you reach for

23:52 Whack-a-mole: trading one substance for another

24:48 Everything can become a drug — nicotine, scrolling, shopping

25:07 Peptides, Ozempic & predatory marketing in recovery spaces

31:00 Honesty about TRT and the rabbit hole

32:45 "Be curious, not judgmental"

34:01 The real question: WHY am I reaching for a fix?

35:01 Financial sobriety and your relationship with money

37:55 How alcohol gets marketed to keep women small

41:44 Selling escape: the beach, the Corona, the lie

44:25 Building a life you don't need to escape from

46:41 Waiting for the other shoe to drop

48:30 Emotional regulation, in one elevator pitch

49:56 You are not your thoughts — meditation & the observer