Your Phone or Your Life? (Cody Cook-Parrott)

Holly and author Cody Cook-Parrott dive headfirst into the raw realities of staying regulated in an unregulated world. Cody shares their journey from near-mental breakdown to thriving queer rural life in Michigan, including the radical decision to permanently delete their 80,000-follower Instagram account while preparing to launch a book. Together, they explore the parallels between social media addiction and alcohol addiction, the art of building community in conservative small towns, and how to support trans loved ones during increasingly dangerous times. This conversation is a masterclass in attention as spiritual practice and choosing alignment over algorithm.

Topics Covered

Mental health maintenance and medication as life-saving tools; the parallels between social media addiction and alcohol addiction; building authentic community in rural areas; co-regulation and nervous system support; the challenge of being a public figure expected to have answers while still struggling; leaving Instagram permanently despite professional pressure and financial implications; the ethics of platform choices and leaving Substack; attention as a spiritual practice and defending one's time; supporting trans partners and creating safety in small communities; bathroom safety and allyship practices; rural queer life and finding chosen family; building sustainable businesses without social media dependence; email lists as alternatives to social platforms; the intersection of creativity, sobriety, and mental health; grief and the preciousness of time following Andrea Gibson's death; celebrating personal achievements and throwing parties for yourself; dating apps and unexpected love stories; navigating news consumption without social media overwhelm; Democracy Now and intentional media consumption; small town dynamics between queer couples and conservative neighbors; the responsibility of having a platform during political crises; fundraising for Palestinian relief through social media before leaving; the upcoming book "The Practice of Attention" coming March 17th, 2026

About

Cody Cook-Parrott is a writer and artist living on Michigan's Leelanau Peninsula.Cody hosts the podcast Common Shapes, writes the newsletter Monday Monday, and is author of How to Not Always Be Working, Getting to Center, and The Practice of Attention (March 2026) With a BFA in Dance from University of Michigan and currently pursuing an MFA at Naropa University's Jack Kerouac School, their work has been featured in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, and Dance Magazine.

Credits

Original music by Gracie Coates (of Gracie and Rachel) @graciecoates @gracieandrachel on Instagram, gracieandrachel.com

Sound engineering, editor: Adam Day, adamdayphotography.com

Producers: Holly Whitaker, Adam Day, Kate Sines

Original art by Misha Handschumacher, cmisha.com

Transcript

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